Inspirational Quotes From... WHO?

Spotted on a wall in Millburn, NJ: a sculpture of a book with some fancy writing on it.

Which is all well and good, until you get to the attribution at the end.

What the shit, Millburn artist? You have no human poet friends? Lazy. 😡

Spotted on a Tesla in Maplewood

The fallout from Elon Musk's Nazi billionaire douchebaggery continues:

Sniff Sniff

Pictured: a canine Sno-cone

A Few More Mall Kiosks And What Their Attendants Are Probably Thinking

Jordan at the Otto Cases kiosk in the Manchester Square Shopping Center in Manchester Square, VT 

• That bitch at Auntie Anne's never gives me free pretzels.

• Every time I see someone walking around with a phone without a case, I go into a BLIND RAGE

• And to think, Mom considers me the *successful* brother. LOL

Daniel at the VR360 kiosk in the Ashland Plaza Mall in Ashland, OR

• I bet I could orgasm without touching myself

• Is Sherri Shepherd from "The View" single?

• Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Trish and Gail at the Got Candy? kiosk in the Fayette Mall in Lexington, KY

• I could totally steal her man. (Trish)

• I could totally steal her man. (Gail)

• Old people shouldn't drive.

Turn Around / Every Now And Then I Get A Little Bit Pathmark That You're Never Coming 'Round

ZOMG

Spotted in the September issue of Steppin' Out Magazine (where do I find these obscure periodicals?), a Halloween-themed ad for a haunted house featuring someone named Addy Miller:


Apparently she appeared briefly in the excellent AMC series "The Walking Dead." (The first season was only six episodes; you should check it out.)



Wait, twenty bucks for an autograph? I don't think George Takay or Malcolm McDowell charge that much for a signature at comicons. And I'm happy for this little girl's success, but let's be truthful here- she was onscreen for like 20 horrific seconds.

Here's Addy in action:



"Hi, Addy. Big fan. I really enjoyed seeing you getting your head blown off in the pilot episode. Can you sign this comic, little girl?" Creepy in more ways than one.

BRAAAAIIINNNS!

Check out the cover of this month's Thrive(?) Magazine:




Fucking terrifying.