Presenting The Newest Buddy Comedy Series: "Honey & Joy"

Move over, "How I Met Your Mother!" Step aside, "Modern Family!" Go fuck yourself, "Two Broke Girls" (No really, go fuck yourself- you're terrible)! There's a new comedy series out, and guess what- IT'S ACTUALLY A COMMERCIAL!!! Just imagine "Laverne and Shirley" if Shotz Beer really existed, or "Perfect Strangers" if Balki's island of Mypos really existed (Google it). Then take away the sharp comedy writing, and add a more begrudging laugh track!

Watch the trailer to the series here:

bitbop.com/honey is a dead URL already! Why!

Watch this series and you too can make very obscure pop culture quotes like "Ladies, we're rock stars. We don't speak cereal." "You got carbs on my face!" or "No high fiving in the break room!"

The production value is poor, although I think a cheapo sitcom look is what they were going for. The acting is corny sitcom-my, which is what I guess they were going for. And a lot of the actors are kind of chubby, which I'm not sure is the intent or a result of the cereal being on set.

Here's Episode 1

And here's Episode 2

Here's Episode 3

Want more? Here's Episode 4 featuring special guests Ok Go. Yes, really.

Episode 5 is here (why do you keep watching these?)

Can't forget Episode 6

Episode 7. Sigh.

Episode 8? Sure.

And here's the unaired Episode 9.

As The Retinas Burn

Yvette's Bridal Formal is currently a link on the EADJ sidebar, and holy fuck, is it one hideous website:


Here are some IM responses from people:

Ranee


Joanne


Bill Dow


Tom


J'Net

An IM Convo With Andrew

Click here for that photo from the Sexy People blog.

Who's Joan, Vince?

I was perusing my Junk Mail folder today and found an email from a "Joan Solivan." The message dispensed with any introductions or context, so I assumed that Vince Soliven had at one time already introduced us.


The subject title said "Perfect information for you and your girlfriend, powder lambda." So apparently Vince had also introduced us sometime before March when J'Net and I got married, because Joan hadn't heard about my new status. Not really sure about "powder lambda," whether that was a little inside joke that she and J'Net had shared, or whether that's just some peculiar way she signs her emails.

Joan must still live in the Philippines, because her grasp on English is awkward. The first sentence, "Best solution for mens from 28 up to 84 y.o." sort of makes sense, but the second sentence (tabbed 8 paragraphs down) devolves into incoherent rambling:

"harass, frisky agape.cot wader hosta.speed, turret inkpot.cubist digs fetch.rash, words hurl.finery doubts shoddy.kiev, preamp motley.pays crowd proof.sludge, deep attic.gauges gin ales.mime, satyr puffin.imps lessor lambda.cape, enough aaron.herd palmed baked.corn, bearer mitt.cruder chokes daze.suit, rebus flue.urn tugela cute.vector, covets avian.sneer closet overdo.frozen, shows trowel.herein bud clench.rector, iodide oath.abloom peels dints.safely, lackey resist.handy vowed acrid.occur, tannoy cress.doors slugs wince.kernel, feuds indite.compel wings soudan.arced, cystic mink.bards owning marks.patted, kissed guinea.bubbly chars to.capers, warms overs.petit hinged lien.nearby, deuces wharfs.kith truck mitred.verve, washer flawed.air topple marred.berets, penury preens.morass entrap beasts.lulls, steel puppet.purely morrow rises.banked, whack tyke.burble kidnap czar.cries, sylph bissau.glebe evolve ozone.bays, cased pox.gaul vinyl sigma.dale, titled mace.recite grinds pitch.threw, wifely muster.throb sagely mettle.excise, edgier adopts.junk doers midair.gallop, paling mom.proxy tragic blared.bel, prams coop.decoke upon slopes.meows, hitler orders.eureka wetly lissom.primal, mists plural.tipple parks will.batted, kaftan turfs.primal doings cutler.winger, furls murmur.pizazz lemurs faces.nutmeg, mouse pod.firmly jailer exited.styles, chewed adds.hod adages saver.impend, finis shekel.swags cheery jeans.funds, dun sunday.audit toned pimp.dank, glided curly.masted silts blocky.woods, nixon grimly.giro drools grog."

And sure, she does make a few good points. I'll concede that "Aaron Herd palmed baked corn," and "steel puppet purely morrow rises," but I find it pretty offensive for her to claim that "Hitler orders Eureka wetly."


While I applaud Joan's attempts to use English and meet new people, I don't particularly like a stranger giving me unsolicited marital advice about me and my beautiful wife, Powder Lambda. So Vince, please tell your friend Joan to leave me alone.