Whitney Houston's Fictional Husband Greg Finally Responds To Her Lyrics from "The Greatest Love Of All"

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
how them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Wait. You're leaving? When were you going to tell me?! I know we've had some rough patches lately, but you've gone and just abandoned me with the kids all by myself? And when I have that IT conference in Dallas next month? Goddammit.

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me

Well, our kids need someone to look up to, but I guess it's not going to be their gallivanting mother. Who's going to take Vanessa to softball now when I'm working late? Christ, this is all I need right now, with the merger and upcoming layoffs. I wish you just had an affair like normal people. 

I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

No one can take away your dignity. Well, that's just great. Meanwhile the bank is eventually going to take away our house since we have only one income from now on. This is really inconvenient, Whit.

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

Oh I see. You've stopped taking your meds, right?

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Clean Your Oven In 8 Simple Steps

Oven cleaning can be a chore. But instead of chemical oven cleaners, here's a more natural, painless way to get the job done:

1) Make sure your oven is switched off and cooled down.

2) Mix your own cleaning solution with baking soda and water.

3) Cover the oven in the cleaning paste.

4) Let it sit overnight.

5) Wipe down the oven. 

6) Spray it with vinegar.

7) Wipe down the oven one last time.

8) Replace the oven racks.

And speaking of racks, I have never needed luggage racks on top of my limo because the trunk space is huge. But this one time I picked up a big family at the airport, and they brought THIRTY EIGHT pieces of luggage and didn't want any in their seating area. I ended up filling my passenger seat so high I could barely see the rear view mirror!

Stay safe, kids!