Alex Jones and InfoWars continue their assault on reality with a new slew of conspiracy stories designed to both outrage the gullible and make them feel smart. Here's what the head writers are working on for next week's tripe:
• Pan pizza is short for "Panama Pizza" which secretly funds the Democratic Revolutionary Party (PRD) in Panama.
• Dental X-rays don't exist. Dentists only make you bite down on those uncomfortable pieces of foam to PUNISH you for being a PATRIOT.
• Digital marketing agencies are working to send you subliminal web banners that tell you to watch liberal programs like "Blue's Clues" and "The Wild Thornberrys"
• Jane says hi
• The Deep State global elitists are secretly working double shifts at Bennigan's to make more money to afford an apartment with a laundry in the same building
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