Tuesday, October 1, 2019

The EADJ Pun Police: Hogwarts Disciplinarian Edition


"Welcome class, to Hogwarts. My name is Hazel Showham, and you will call me Ms. Showham. In these halls, you are expected to restrict any magic to the classroom and NOT in the hallways between sessions for the duration of the semester. Also, since you now know the magical properties of words, any type of unauthorized wordplay or 'puns' will be dealt with immediately. Let this be your first and final warning."


"Ugh. WINE-ter? That isn't even close. Punus Eructo!"


"Not impressed. That isn't sophisticated at all. Begon terribulum!"


"Yawn. Awee flotillum!"


"Now this is interesting in how awful it is. It marries Halloween and Star Wars with terrible puns over the lame streetsmart phrase 'Keepin' it real.' Some extra effort was put into this multiple atrocity and will take an extra strong spell to be rid of it. ENTIRUUM GULAG!"



"Song lyrics turned into puns is particularly evil. Very dark evil. Gastrato millipedia!"


"New location? They serve guacamole? I don't love it, but I'll allow it. Stet."



"Oh goody. Food puns galore! With underlines so you GET IT! Punctuatis underlinum! Away!"


"Fie! A multiple pronged, lyrics-based pun! I know no spell powerful enough to suppress or counter it! Evacuate the school, children! Grab your brooms, fly to the nearest exit!"

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