Burning Questions

A banner ad for Endurance car insurance, featuring Ludacris and Danica Patrick:

1) What the hell?

2) Is this a Fast and the Furious movie tie-in?

3) "Ludacris: Artist and Musician". Doesn't his music count as his art? What, does he paint landscapes or weave tapestries too? (Cool, if so)

4) Was the accompanying music to the banner "Move Bitch"?

5) Did Luda not offer a seat to Danica? Is he not a gentleman?

6) Do Danica and Ludacris have a irreconcilable disagreement but begrudging respect for each other and that's why they're standing back-to-back like so many rom-com movie posters?

7) Who drives in that relationship?

8) If car repairs were covered, wouldn't you not be paying for them anyway?

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

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Like a Pathmark Touched For The Very First Time

Yes, that is ice cream left hidden amongst tea.

The ProofrEADJer, Patriotic July the 4th Edition

Foreigners and immigrants can't spell for shit! USA! USA! USA!

T-Mobile Girl's New Image

Those of you who forgot to fast forward through commercials might have noticed that the bubbly, fresh-faced spokesgirl for T-Mobile has a new, overhauled, badass motorcyclist image.

 

EADJ has spoken to T-Mobile insiders about her image shift and got the following info about it:

• She just broke up with her longtime European model boyfriend Diego and reportedly wants to "rub the coochie on some strange."

• Although she's been trying her darnedest, she cannot be a bigger bitch than Danica Patrick.

• She got a tattoo that reads "Slide to unlock" along her belly.

• Due to the all-leather outfit, whenever she tries to sneak into a theatre for a free movie, she gets caught by the ticket taker.

• She now tags shit.

• She has taken self-defense classes and will elbow the fuck out of your eye socket if you resist trying the new HTC® Amaze™ 4G smartphone with an 8 Megapixel Camera and Microsoft^® Exchange integration!

• Her farts now exit out her pleather neckhole.

• Decades from now, people will discover she was a Prototype Series 1000 "liquid metal" Terminator sent by Skynet from the future to terminate John Connor's younger self. She did not succeed.

• Unwanted advances from skeezy old biker dudes have quintupled.