• Fluoride is not being put into city water by the Lizard People; it's actually being done by the Jewish Yetis
• Elon Musk is not South African. He's actually very Northern Antarctican
• The lead singer who died but is now a reanimated clone was not the one from Smashmouth but the one from Chumbawumba
• Woke mind viruses are in your breakfast cereal as well as your shampoo but NOT in your Chiclets. We checked
• Subliminal messages from Venus are not dangerous but mostly helpful PSAs about spending time with your kids
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