• No more foam parties in the projection room
• The health department has forced the end of Butthole Nachos
• No Friday Film Fireworks
• Spicy oatmeal with cigarette butts will only be sold in matinees
• No more racism warnings from our loud Chinese mascot
• From now on, our free backrubs will be unenthusiastic
• No more ticket refunds unless you really, really, really didn't like the movie
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