No, let me change that. They're 80 times more annoying than they are charming. Meaning for whatever slight amusement they give one owner, they make 80 people want to kill them.
What's the attraction? "Hey, everybody, I've got a surprising, whimsical handle on my umbrella!" No, you're carrying around a perfectly functional umbrella that's been ruined by a lapse in good taste.
"Well, maybe they're for children," you might propose. No, if those umbrellas were really for children, they'd have Spider-Man handles and My Pretty Ponies printed all over the umbrella itself with an embedded playable Nintendo in the shaft. No, a real umbrella for kids would actually be fun, not a half-assed, hastily-painted carving of a duck's head. The people who own these types of umbrellas aren't allowed anywhere near children.
Even more detailed, more expensive versions of the duck-handled umbrella are tacky and unnecessary. All they do is make people question your judgement even more. Fuck duck-handled umbrellas with an angry, rain-soaked mallard penis.
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