Smecial Dreams Mini-Entry

Let's Tack A "Do Not Resuscitate" Sign To The EADJ Mail Sack When It's Sleeping! ***TEXTARIFFIC ENTRY***

A text from John Reid:

 

A submission for the next EADJ Pun Cops from Andrew Gall:

 

A "shorter, fatter and saltier" version of Scott Peterson, submitted by Larry Liss:

 

Also submitted by John Reid: "Ha."

 

A texted photo from Tom Weingard: "Found in the trash in a bathroom in a Greek restaurant in Union Square."

This texted to me from my brother Jay: "How dare they."

 

And finally, yet another entry submitted by John Reid: "Good to see you the other day."

Thanks to all the submitters. You guys have big dicks.

Don't Hate The Giver- Hate The Game.

I bought my brother a "Chocolate Edition of Clue" for Christmas. I know- weird, right.


We broke it out and played it the other day, and turns out it's just the same ol' game of Clue, but the playing pieces are NOT chocolate sculptures of Colonel Mustard, Mrs. Peacock, etc. but instead are a bunch of cheap square chocolates with the names of the weapons, rooms, and suspects on each piece.


Game play aside, I noticed on the back some nutritional information and even an allergy warning:


Depending on the severity your nut or wheat allergies, this might mark the first time that the game Clue could actually kill you. Neat!

Let's Snort Cocaine Off the EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by my brother Jay, a Facebook post that also doubles as a Rorschach test:


"OMG....I soooo thought that the picture was something else at first glance. Geez, the innocence is all gone."

Ah, Technology.

Pictured above, my brother texts me FROM THE NEXT ROOM when staying over last month.

Mel Tells The Baltimore Story

My cousin Mel tells the story about my mother (who he calls "Auntie Boots") and his last visit to Baltimore.



Click here for more cousin Mel-related fun.

The David Cook Problem

My mother's retired now, and in her newfound ton of time on her hands, she's been watching a lot of TV. Most notably "American Idol." This is all fine and well and good, but she has somehow taken it into her head to become David Cook's biggest fan EVAR.

The other day I got this email from my Mom:

------------

Hello favorite sons Jay and David,

Do me this special favor and humor me seriously by downloading (uploading?) DAVID COOK's new single LIGHT ON from iTunes. I am working on downloading it too but I do not have an IPOD.


Even if I find out how to download it to my PC, I still want you two to separately download it from iTunes. It is very important to me. If you can finnagle Rick to do the same, I will be eternally grateful. I know you are aware that is will cost each of you 99cents- WOW what a bargain when you will be making your MOM's day very happy. Please email me back.

MOM :-D

------------

So I deleted that email, but a few hours later, I received an iTunes gift in my inbox:


And moments later, J'Net told me she received the same gift. You'll notice that it's addressed to "Rex Perez," who is my cousin, so you can deduce that she's sent a David Cook iTunes single AT THE VERY LEAST to me, my brother Jay, Rex, and J'Net. Maybe there's a way I can talk my mother into going back to work...

Now It's Time To Prepare.

"By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail."
-Benjamin Franklin

Some possible questions that EADJ is going to ask Jerald on Saturday (list is still being revised):

• What's with that photo?
• Which shirt collars do you pop, and which do you not?
• Does your roommate always catch you by surprise?
• Can you be more specific in your interests (art, music & concerts, watching DVD's/Videos)?
• Why would you mop a patio?
• Have you watched "The Incredible Hulk" yet? It's pretty good.
• Why do you only travel to Germany– and no other countries– then back?
• Have you ever heard of "Eat A Dick Joel?"
• How do you plan to prevail?

An Oral Tradition Passes On To The Next Generation.

In Vegas, Mel Kreilein tells the others the legend of the infamous "El Cheapo Luncho" incident.

Jay Leads the Las Vegas Men's Chorus.

An Estoye Family Tradition

So for four years in a row now, the Estoye family has made it a grand Christmas tradition to not cook and go eat at Denny's instead. (Yeah, I know it's like two months late for this post, but I just had to get that Intimate Agony movie review out ASAP.) We've consistently picked Denny's for the value, the prices, and the great prices we get on value. Plus if you've ever seen the inside of my parents' fridge, you'd not want to eat there, either.

Let's Make An Illegal Copy of the EADJ Mail Sack and Sell It On the Street!

(a helpful hint submitted by my brother Jay, who's an engineer for Ford: that little arrow next to the gas tank icon on your dashboard points to which side your gas tank is on!)

Keepin' It In the Family

Now it's cousin Mel's turn!



I can't believe so much of my family hasn't seen this yet.

Reaction-O-Rama, The Next Generation

Having corrupted both our parents with 2 Girls 1 Cup, Jay decides that our cousin Melissa needs to see it, too.

Reaction-O-Rama, The Fallout

Mom and Dad discuss 2 Girls 1 Cup and porno. On the way to church, to boot.

Reaction-O-Rama

J'Net and my brother Jay introduce the parents to the wonders of 2 Girls 1 Cup.

J'Net Corrupts My Parents

At a restaurant named "Sir Walter Raleigh" in Greenbelt, Maryland, J'Net and my brother Jay describe something unspeakable- and not surprisingly, online- to my Mom and Dad.

Jessica Flashes Her Wedding Tips.

This might be the worst executed one yet.

The day is coming when all of us will have seen him.

The following was submitted by Phil Flicklicker, mere minutes ago:

SFVOSP Spotted. 2:03 PM, entering Sbarro’s with a matronly coworker wearing her ID on a lanyard. She said “you could get a salad”, and he responded by rolling his eyes flamboyantly and making that exhaling sound one makes to express disbelief. (Kind of like David’s brother’s “TUU” expression, but nonmusical and muffled.)

Phil blah blah blah Shorter Fatter Version blah blah blah list at the bottom of this page blah blah blah.

BONUS: Here's probably what it looked like when Mister Wood was born: