Some More Added Perks to an AMC Stubs Membership

AMC Stubs is the country's most successful theatre chain loyalty program. Why? Because its members enjoy an ever expanding array of perks and benefits. Here are the latest added membership rewards:

• Up to 4 free movies a week (Jesus Christ, who has the time for that many?)

• Free refills of beverages, popcorn, and synthetic motor oil for your car

• You will be able to hold your alcohol better once you're a member

• We will point the air conditioner vent directly your way on very hot days

• If your name is Joanne, we promise to never, ever call you Joan by accident

• Free 3D glasses that won't work with regular movies but will make them a lot dimmer

• Up to 3 free guest passes to anyone you bring along, even if it's obviously a prostitute

The ProofrEADJer: Early December Edition

UAG

Some Available (But Terrible) Porn Actor Names

Welcome to the porn set! I hear it's your first time on camera, so I wanted to tell you to relax and just remember we can always stop rolling if you need to lube up or get a popper. Oh, also, before we get started, you might want to pick a porn name. There's a kaiser's helmet over there by the camera equipment full of unused porn names that you can pick for yourself. Keep in mind that they're a pretty terrible selection. Good luck!

Male

Barry D. Hatchett

Duck Duck Guzman

Dustin Foprints

Curtis E. Flush

Lou Hangin-Froot

Trey Bouchet

Gerry Atric

Willy Nilly

Mike Rowe Penis

Al G. Bloom

Female

Tess the Rainbow

Gladys Payday

Marge of Dimes

Perra Menopause

Jenny Say Quoi

Cyclospora Outbreak

Yikes

Spotted on FB, what I thought was a demonic claw turns out to be a fluffy carpet. Whew!

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

Here's where we cover the latest (and worst) in hip hop mixtape covers:
 

bia: Do we have any concepts for the mixtape cover?

ty dolla Sign: No

bia: Wait. I got an idea!

When the eatery in your neighborhood looks this old and crappy, you know that either the food is cheap or really, really good. Probably both.

Hey, look. Google released their branded color shag carpet jackets.

Perfect. No notes.

Shitty Boyz made custom jerseys and everything but forgot the damn ball.

The Least Used Hashtags on X (Formerly Twitter)

 

X / Twitter is full of neonazis, alt-right assholes, and malignant shitbots. The site's entire content is a hailstorm (heilstorm?) of hatred, crypto scams and bad actors. So here are the least used hashtags on this now unusable social platform:

#abolishICE

#talktoawoman
#accountability
#callyourmother

#defendtheHaitians

#CharlieKirkwaskindofadouche
#dosomethinggoodtodayforsomeoneelse

#theworldsfirsttrillionaireshouldntbeanazi

#heymaybeicouldbewrongbutmaybeweshouldntbesuchfuckingracists