New Products Announced at This Year's Consumer Electronics Show

The Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas is the industry's leading showcase for premiering devices, hardware and peripherals for consumers. 

Here are most exciting announcements from the 5 day show: 

• a scanner that your grandma can easily operate whenever you're around but can't when you're not

• Sony's new tablet that automatically connects your bank account to a Sony account

• a restaurant table device that you can pay your check with, except this time it's even MORE filthy!

• a clothes dryer that GIVES you a random sock whenever your do a load

• AI powered refrigerators that won't open if they don't like how you're talking to your wife

• a wearable digital thingie that looks stupid as fuck but also is kind of pointless and expensive

• Samsung's revolutionary all-digital Butter Churn 2.0

• a handy taser for police that automatically tases anyone who's filming the incident

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Smecial Dreams Entry

They Should've Workshopped That Tagline A Little More

A one-sheet poster for the movie "Worst Christmas Ever":
 

Is... is that a domestic violence joke? For a Christmas movie about family?

Some More Added Perks to an AMC Stubs Membership

AMC Stubs is the country's most successful theatre chain loyalty program. Why? Because its members enjoy an ever expanding array of perks and benefits. Here are the latest added membership rewards:

• Up to 4 free movies a week (Jesus Christ, who has the time for that many?)

• Free refills of beverages, popcorn, and synthetic motor oil for your car

• You will be able to hold your alcohol better once you're a member

• We will point the air conditioner vent directly your way on very hot days

• If your name is Joanne, we promise to never, ever call you Joan by accident

• Free 3D glasses that won't work with regular movies but will make them a lot dimmer

• Up to 3 free guest passes to anyone you bring along, even if it's obviously a prostitute

The ProofrEADJer: Early December Edition

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