Happy Friday the 13th From Eat A Dick Joel!

May all your dreams come true!

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

 

Amerie is naked at the JC Penney Portrait Studio.

Hand puppets + marionette strings + Brady Bunch grid = Almost total confusion

Ew.

Ew. Again.

Maybe try digging the underwear out of your ass beforehand, eh?

I don't know either of these two gentlemen, but I imagine they wasted a million dollars in their effort.

WTH. Fine. As is.

Some mixtape covers are better left blank.

Is that shaving cream? Stuffing? Semen? Bubbles? Fuck it– pass.

EADJ Fashion Round-Up: Early Pre-Fall Edition

Salmon usually swims upstream. Not this fellow, complete with a blue Oxford and a matching 60s flight attendant handbag. You go, boy!

You too can wear a too-young-for-you backup dancer/caballero outfit, perfect for road rage incidents, even when you're not driving!

The top says "flamenco dancing" but the bottom says "hay ride."

When the weather has gotten cooler but the office AC is still on 68º, throw on the Executive Conference Blanket, available in rust brown or brown rust.

I don't understand how someone could want miniature angel wings over part of their back. Because their left shoulder blade is more holy? Template fail.

Sbarro

Pictured below, a sign at Sbarro announces who's on duty.


Good God, I made a whole entry out of this?

Filipino Boy Will Survive

(pictured above, what happens when the goddamn salad place doesn't put a fork in your takeout bag and then when you get back to the office there's a goddamned meeting hogging the kitchen)

The day is coming when all of us will have seen him.

The following was submitted by Phil Flicklicker, mere minutes ago:

SFVOSP Spotted. 2:03 PM, entering Sbarro’s with a matronly coworker wearing her ID on a lanyard. She said “you could get a salad”, and he responded by rolling his eyes flamboyantly and making that exhaling sound one makes to express disbelief. (Kind of like David’s brother’s “TUU” expression, but nonmusical and muffled.)

Phil blah blah blah Shorter Fatter Version blah blah blah list at the bottom of this page blah blah blah.

BONUS: Here's probably what it looked like when Mister Wood was born: