A Mini Special Entry

 Both featuring dreams by yours truly:

Skims Lingerie is Not Just a Lingerie Company. It's an Outreach Program for Supermodels

Earlier this year Kim Kardashian launched an ad campaign for her Skims lingerie line, featuring a reunion of former Victoria's Secret models: Candace Swanepoel, Heidi Klum, Tyra Banks, and Alessandra Ambrosio. The former 'Angels' expressed gratitude and relief after being laid off in recent years by Victoria Secret in a new push to feature "regular-looking" models. The reality star with the giant ass said she hopes to make lingerie purchases based on unrealistic body images fashionable again.

Editor's full disclosure: I myself am fat.

Doppelgängers Update

Submitted by John Reid, a doppelgänger of me:

Another doppelgänger of me, according to Andrew:

And another:

And here's one I found that looks EXACTLY like my brother Jay:

A Mini Smecial Dreams Entry

An IM from me to Andrew:

An IM from Andrew to me:

UDE

Smecial Dreams Entry

There are only three entries here, but that's enough because there's plenty to unpack here.

Yes, There Is A 2016 Update To The Shorter, Fatter Version Of Scott Peterson, Featuring the Original Cast

By the way, Disney now owns the reboot rights to T.S.F.V.O.S.P.

And second by the way, here is the "lightning in a bottle" that Todd was talking about, from an EADJ entry back in March 5, 2007.

Smecial Dreams Entry

Apparently Vince still stars in a lot of dreams.

Smecial Dreams Entry

One day a shrink will analyze all these smecial entries and wonder why he wasted his time doing so.

Let's Scrape The Baked-On Meat Out of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Geoff via MMS, Ne-Yo is a doppelgänger of ME.

Personally, I like my version of "Make It Work" better.

Personalization

Got this piece of junk mail yesterday:

Although there is no Estoye University, if there were, here is the type of curriculum you could expect there:

• Earth Studies: Why S.H.I.E.L.D.'s 800-Ton Helicarrier Isn't As Green As They Say
• Econ 24: Why the Coinstar at the Supermarket is So Near the Lottery Machine
• Women's Studies 14: She-Ra, She Hulk and She Talks To Angels
• Hobbits 51: Hobbits, Hobbiton, Hobbitses and Hobbits
• Design 93: Why Trajan Pro Is A Worse Font Than Even Comic Sans
• Social Studies 300: How To Reconcile Your Love For Star Wars With Your Love For Star Trek
• French 6: Putain De Con De Pûte
• Seminar: How To Eat A Slice of Pizza Whilst Driving Stick in Cross Town Traffic
• Art 89: Why That Drawing of a Duck/Rabbit Is ALWAYS a Fucking Duck, Period
• Spanish 4: Introducton To French
• History 47: Dave Mustaine's Brief Stint As Lead Guitarist For Metallica (1981-82)
• Music 55: Why 95 South's "Whoot There It Is" Vs. DC Talk's "Whoomp! (There It Is)": Comparison and Contrast


Enrollment begins August 14, Never.

Super-Quick Smecial Dreams Entry

Let's Boost The Visibility Of The EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by John Reid, what appears to be a doppelganger of me in a white down coat.

"So many Asians with camera phones."  -J.R.

Lobsterfest- You Know It, I Know It.

Editor's note: Since EADJ Lobsterfest entries have lately required the imbibing of alcohol, it was a natural next step that this one was created at a bar. David and Andrew drank at the Snickers Bar on State Street in Chicago last night, and with the help of two Stratosphere Dongs (whose ingredients are whiskey, Sprite & grenadine, remember) and the Dragon Dictation app on David's phone, they created the entries below.

Please keep in mind that the bar was very noisy and both David and Andrew were slurring by this time, so this is what the Dragon Dictation app spat out:

David: Take all the contractor and the tractor pulls great full of lobster meat across the street and then everyone comes the great and going to eat lots of crap that you get a couple dollars for it that's what terrific way to do it lobster red lobster fest at red lobster

Andrew: You're brought lobster by man wearing a long time Hawkhurst looks to be a tie for their inspection revealed Thai is entirely made of lobster Princetown encouraged Fissler the time off back by the time you get up closer than other regions of his face notice that this is actually painted white going to the that point they realize that you're actually Extrano for movie called Scalo lobster directed by David Platt straight to DVD so you can do a lobster around his neck and realize that you actually been giving pickiest Mashit lobsterman's with shallots

David: So I just found a way to reduce and make lobster meat microscopic to the point that you could create several gunships out of lobster meat ticket event this silicon chips of lobster meat into an electronics from there the computing can get only faster transistor radios iPods even leaving CB radios are made faster by this new technology the government tries to seal the button away from you but instead you turn all rights over to your local red lobster where they make the profit to pay you maybe 2% of it now that's one way to enjoy lobster at red lobster lobster fest y'all

Andrew: So we all know the way that hipsters like door at red lobster in on the fun counteroffer lobster Holdaway
Meeting shape Pat Hanna lobster with manly read and think that looking where to show their support for websurfer love you up for the unfortunate thing about the other non-thought out plan of this idea is that number one the bees invidious number two there assembled and I red lobster restaurants with overworked employees already have to much to do lobster at the lobster Deanza Furla to get Steerhead Isabel Chopperhead resulting in really

David: You play chess with his 12-year-old it's well-built beat you 20 times out of 50 was me that you would most the time so you Salabay Viene lobster invited 12-year-old to come join you at the restaurant but disease too young to drink you get drunk as he flops are watching it totally wasted one way to joy Lochshire Ludloff Sarala Mellotts about


Analysis: It seems that the beginning of each entry makes sense but quickly devolves into gibberish, either because of David and Andrew's rambling or because the Dragon Dictation app starts breaking down in a noisy environment.

Possibly the most remarkable but unintentional finds:
Deanza Furla
shallots
Steerhead Isabel Chopperhead
Pat Hanna

Feel free to use any of these as iPod playlists or vanity plates!

Dear Mr. Dow

Smecial Dreams Entry!

Wotta Guy

Barry and I were walking on 3rd Avenue and spotted this guy lounging on a bench, wearing a t-shirt that said, "Buy A Donkey."


"Buy A Donkey?!" What the hell could that mean? Is that some obscure street lingo? Is it an ad asking you to contribute to the Democratic party? Or to really purchase a donkey for whatever reason? Whatever the answer, the guy wearing the shirt was perfectly comfortable not explaining himself. Not that we asked.

A Reaction

Crumpled, Fat, Hispanic Vince

Or just crumpled, Hispanic David Estoye.