Some Quick Notes From Tami and Chelsea

Listen up, bitches, PAY ATTENTION! Put away your phones, cut the chitchat and make a half-circle around us in 3...2...1.

No, we're not stretching out right now, Phoebe. This is just a touch-base.

Okay. DanceExpo is in 16 DAYS, people! That means we've got to get our two routines down, tight and ready for Albuquerque in 15 days. I mean it, ladies, we've got a lot of work to do between now and our 6pm slot! For realsy.

But before we even start stretching out (serious, Phoebe, not yet), Chelsea and I have a few notes about "Sorry Not Sorry:" Everyone's nice and crisp in the first verse, but when we get to "now payback is a bad bitch," I'm seeing a lot of sloppy heel-toe-heel in the back row. That includes Sophie, Candace, Allison T. and Gabriella. I'm sorry, ladies, but you gotta keep it going strong. Just because you're in the back doesn't mean judges aren't seeing your feet.

Secondly, breathing. When we're doing the fourth front-to-back-leg combo, I don't want you gasping your way through it– it messes the flow and we can all see it. So that means you need to control your breathing and not hold it during the air run. Cool? Cool.

HANDS should be tight. ELBOWS should be tight. HIPS together and CRISP, dammit. These are all things that made us the number 4 dance squad in Cleveland. Let's never forget that.

Okay, hands in the middle here:

Are we tough? YES!!!

Are we professional? YES!!!

Who are we? WE ARE WHITEFISH BAY GLAMOUR SPIRIT SQUAD 2017!!!!!

Amen. LET'S DO THIS!

Andrew's Turn To React To The Bowling Balls In Our Backyard

Here is the previous one with Vince.

Jersey-Style!

Vince reacts to the bowling balls in our back yard.

Let's Make the EADJ Mail Sack Say "TUUUUUU!"

Submitted by Flicklicker, "Tuuuuuuuuu!!!!"



For those of you who don't know what "TUUUUUU!" is, watch this.

Now It's Time To Prepare.

"By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail."
-Benjamin Franklin

Some possible questions that EADJ is going to ask Jerald on Saturday (list is still being revised):

• What's with that photo?
• Which shirt collars do you pop, and which do you not?
• Does your roommate always catch you by surprise?
• Can you be more specific in your interests (art, music & concerts, watching DVD's/Videos)?
• Why would you mop a patio?
• Have you watched "The Incredible Hulk" yet? It's pretty good.
• Why do you only travel to Germany– and no other countries– then back?
• Have you ever heard of "Eat A Dick Joel?"
• How do you plan to prevail?

TUUUUUU! Have and TUUUUUU! Hold

Ayana and Jessica make fun of a honking big portrait. Like, Stalin-big.

Stay tuned for more of their bridal adventures!

Jay Leads the Las Vegas Men's Chorus.

TUUUUUU! in Chile!

Vince represents in Chile, where him being brown isn't considered as special.

A hunka hunka burning dick

Joel's career as a terrible screenwriter was put on temporary hold this week while he explored the world of antique appraisal.

Browsing through various shops on La Brea Avenue, Joel picked some select pieces and gave them the value he thought they deserved. Some shop owners, however, begged to differ with Joel's appraisals. For example, an oak chiffarobe worth $4500 was given Joel's estimate of 8,200 dicks. A $300 nightstand, 750 dicks. And an old bowl with a basin, "lots and lots o' dick, especially if it's Mexican."

Eventually, Joel's sorry ass was hauled out of a furniture shop and he was given a whimsical tin sign saying "STAY OUT! I'M CRANKY!" Even if furniture store owners don't like you, they're always hospitable.

(pictured above, a truly appropriate product tie-in, although we don't understand why Elvis is singing into a giant match.)

Laying it on thick

Things I don't expect to hear anytime soon from a cab driver:

"Those bike messengers are a pure delight!"

"You want to pay with a credit card? No problem, boss!"

"Why yes, I will hang up my cell phone so that I can concentrate on driving."

"Rice and Western? I know exactly where that is and will get you there posthaste!"

"You want a receipt? Here, take a whole pad of 'em!"

"You're right. Me blasting NPR doesn't make me appear any smarter. I'll turn it down."

"There are seven of you, and you're all obnoxiously drunk? Pile in, kids!"

"My name is Dean Hacohen."

"You don't have enough money? TUUUUUUUU!"

"You no make fun. My name really TRAN PHAT."


(pictured above, Nancy M watches as four gallons of sour cream are slathered onto her ginormous Morton's tater)

The day is coming when all of us will have seen him.

The following was submitted by Phil Flicklicker, mere minutes ago:

SFVOSP Spotted. 2:03 PM, entering Sbarro’s with a matronly coworker wearing her ID on a lanyard. She said “you could get a salad”, and he responded by rolling his eyes flamboyantly and making that exhaling sound one makes to express disbelief. (Kind of like David’s brother’s “TUU” expression, but nonmusical and muffled.)

Phil blah blah blah Shorter Fatter Version blah blah blah list at the bottom of this page blah blah blah.

BONUS: Here's probably what it looked like when Mister Wood was born: