But What If It Isn't A Harmonica?

The brochure for a performance by American Idol's Taylor Hicks in South Orange obviously shows him jamming out on a harmonica. 

But what if that weren't true? What else would that be a photo of? EADJ explores the possibilities:

Scenario 1: Taylor Hicks in the middle of a power ballad gets a massive toothache and cannot finish the part about hardening his heart and swallowing his tears.

Scenario 2: Midsong, Taylor Hicks gets a part of the microphone in his mouth and discovers that it's absolutely DELICIOUS!!!!! He proceeds to devour the microphone and just marvels at how scrumptious every bite is.

Scenario 3: Goofing around in the studio, Taylor Hicks learns that blowing his nose sounds 100% exactly like Kenny G's Selmer Mark VI Soprano saxophone. At his next live performance, he belts out "Songbird" to the lukewarm delight of the crowd.

Scenario 4: People have told Taylor Hicks that he looks exactly like George Clooney, but only if HE COVERS HIS MOUTH. Taylor notices some hot honeys in the front row of his next concert and tries his best to impress him with his George Clooney looks, minus the mouth.

Scenario 5: Taylor Hicks only THINKS he has a harmonica, but it's actually one of those Take 5 candy bars. You see, Taylor has suffered some sort of mild brain aneurysm and is now convinced that Take 5 bars are harmonicas. Play us some more blues, brain damaged Taylor Hicks!

Eight Steps That Daughtry Can Take To Gain Some Rock Cred

1. Disband.
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Have I Found Her?

Way, way back in April 2007, I found this random photo developed along with my own at a CVS:


Fast forward five years to the American Airlines Admiral's Club in St. Louis. And after I've had six beers. Mein Gott, I think I've spotted her!





Chalk it up to my photographic memory and devotion to this blog. Or either attribute it to my drunk ass sadly surfing my own blog at an airport. But you have to admit, there is a resemblance. Why she would keep the same hairstyle after 5 years doesn't make a lot of sense, but hell, I've done it.

Some would point out that the girl at the airport doesn't have that birthmark on her left cheek like the girl in the photo. But she easily could've had that removed with laser surgery or a pen knife.


I dunno. I'm pretty convinced I could work for the FBI.

The David Cook Problem

My mother's retired now, and in her newfound ton of time on her hands, she's been watching a lot of TV. Most notably "American Idol." This is all fine and well and good, but she has somehow taken it into her head to become David Cook's biggest fan EVAR.

The other day I got this email from my Mom:

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Hello favorite sons Jay and David,

Do me this special favor and humor me seriously by downloading (uploading?) DAVID COOK's new single LIGHT ON from iTunes. I am working on downloading it too but I do not have an IPOD.


Even if I find out how to download it to my PC, I still want you two to separately download it from iTunes. It is very important to me. If you can finnagle Rick to do the same, I will be eternally grateful. I know you are aware that is will cost each of you 99cents- WOW what a bargain when you will be making your MOM's day very happy. Please email me back.

MOM :-D

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So I deleted that email, but a few hours later, I received an iTunes gift in my inbox:


And moments later, J'Net told me she received the same gift. You'll notice that it's addressed to "Rex Perez," who is my cousin, so you can deduce that she's sent a David Cook iTunes single AT THE VERY LEAST to me, my brother Jay, Rex, and J'Net. Maybe there's a way I can talk my mother into going back to work...

EADJ Weather Update

Snow flurries and snow showers continue to assault central Indiana, with a low of 12º F and a 60% chance of snow overnight.