A Words From Friends Rack I Got

EADJ Selections From the Sharper Image Catalog

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A Pathmark of Crows

And these three from guest editor EMILY KANE:

Meanwhile, On Words With Friends...

Ayana successfully plays the word "TITMAN."

That's right. TITMAN. For 20 points.

Here's what Google Images brings back when you type it in search, even without filtering explicit results:

TITMAN.

Let's Tack A "Do Not Resuscitate" Sign To The EADJ Mail Sack When It's Sleeping! ***TEXTARIFFIC ENTRY***

A text from John Reid:

 

A submission for the next EADJ Pun Cops from Andrew Gall:

 

A "shorter, fatter and saltier" version of Scott Peterson, submitted by Larry Liss:

 

Also submitted by John Reid: "Ha."

 

A texted photo from Tom Weingard: "Found in the trash in a bathroom in a Greek restaurant in Union Square."

This texted to me from my brother Jay: "How dare they."

 

And finally, yet another entry submitted by John Reid: "Good to see you the other day."

Thanks to all the submitters. You guys have big dicks.

EADJ Surprising Hostility: "It Is What It Is."

"Shit happens." "Is it Friday yet?" and "Life's a beach" are all terrible, pretty tired clichés that still pop up on t-shirts and bumper stickers. But only one phrase has entered the lexicon that means absolutely nothing yet still gains popularity: "It is what it is."


What about this phrase has captured the public's lack of imagination? Well, it's certainly catchy, and if you're not paying attention, it sounds like you're actually saying something profound or knowing; it's a poor man's "Easy come, easy go."


If you're talking about the quality of something, at least "Garbage in, garbage out" describes how croddy ingredients create a croddy result and inspires you to do better. "It is what it is" just sits there and neither puts it down NOR compliments it. "It is what it is," is essentially saying "That thing is right over there being itself," and lets you just sit back and not think about improving it, scratching your ass.


Probably the worst use of it is in comforting someone in a bad situation. Just imagine telling some old skank lady at a bar that your wife left you and you just got fired. What else is she gonna say to you? It's perfect to just fill up some time, like saying, "Well, you know" or "Bob's your uncle."

Shit. I just realized this entire entry reads like an Andy Rooney segment. Oh well,"It is what it is." Fart

It's a Long Way to the Joel (If You Wanna Eat a Dick)

This EADJ Guest Writer Week has sort of fallen to shit, so we're going to just bag it for now. Maybe a guest entry from Joel sometime. That would be funny. A whole entry talking about how much he eats dick, by HIMSELF. So meta!

Today Joel had his regular regimen of bran cereal and dick to get started in the morning, then a sensible lunch of dick with lime and pesto. Tonight he will be going to Dicko Bell to scarf a Gordicka Crunch and a Seven Layer Burdicko. Then he's going to The Loews Dickaplex Odeon to watch "Ten Dicks I Ate About You" and "Alpha Dick" starring Jusdick Dickerlake.

(pictured above, a Canon technician wonders what's a five-letter word for "Sculptor's subject.")