A Guess

Spotted on a banner:

I can guess with high confidence that Susan first got laid around the 90s.

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Yup. I think we're back in business.

GETTING SURPRISED WHILE CLEANING!

GETTING SURPRISED WHILE CLEANING!


GETTING SURPRISED WHILE CLEANING!
GETTING SURPRISED WHILE CLEANING!


GETTING SURPRISED WHILE CLEANING!

Coming This Fall on ABC

"Brynn 'nn Matt"
Tuesdays 8/7 C
60 min, Drama

Two young executives try to make it in the big city, helping each other get ahead and living life day by day. But will the two get romantically involved? Series creator and Executive Producer Steven Bochco calls this "a cross between Eli Stone and some other show with young executives finding their way blah blah blah." The soundtrack will feature artists like Counting Crows, Jack Johnson, Tristan Prettyman, The Dave Matthews Band, Feist (no, not that song), Anna Nalick, The All-American Rejects, Kanye West, and Cannibal Corpse.


A scene from episode 1.3, "Crossfire"


A scene from episode 1.6, "Tonight We Dance"


A scene from episode 1.8, "To Arms"


A scene from episode 1.9, "Coincidences"


A scene from the unnamed season finale.

Let's Stow the EADJ Mail Sack In An Overhead Bin Even Though The Flight Attendant Told Us There Wasn't Enough Room Up There!

Below, a submission via text message from JERALD HIMSELF:

Jerald and Why He Prevails.

Sometime last week we had mentioned receiving a message from Jerald via the WAYN (now pronounced way in) website. And in order for Jerald to send me a message, he had to have seen my profile photo:


But rather than get snippy or huffy about the photo, he sent a LOL, a :), and a "Dooooooode that's a funny photo man!" He then proceeded to make plans for our next outing next month which will include playing pool and foosball. Motherfucking class act. He really is "the Man."

Stay tuned for our next awesome EADJ/Jerald outing in August!

Some People Wait All Their Lives To Have This In Their In Box:

More on the message's contents later.

Yes. He Prevailed.

“There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.”
-Salvador Dali



Wow. So much to process. So much to take in. It's really difficult to go point-by-point of the experience that it was to meet Jerald for lunch on Saturday. Tom & I have yet to talk about it afterwards. Maybe because that would somehow spoil our individual takes on the encounter. Suffice it to say it was epic. It was moving. It was everything we had anticipated and hoped for. It was probably better than "The Dark Knight."




We dumbly scheduled the lunch at noon at Loreley, even though the place doesn't open up until 1pm on Monday. So Jerald graciously invited us to hang at his place, where we got to know a little more about 'the Man.'

• He's a freelance fashion designer
• He doesn't pop his collar every day (maybe only for special occasions?)
• His roommate Justin couldn't join us because he went mountain biking at the last minute (which I thought was a little rude)
• He's big into jazz and has been playing the saxophone for a few years. Most notable jazz idols: Thelonious Monk, Coltrane, and Miles Davis
• He's a good host

He then showed us the rooftop to his building, which was a revelation in regards to the infamous photo.














So we finally got to the end of the meal (final bill, $130 but SO WORTH IT). Satisfied with the mystery of the photo being solved, Tom and I bid Jerald adieu and went back to our boring non-Jerald lives. Final verdict: Jerald is a totally cool guy who just happened to take the most random photo we had ever seen. Plus he promises to update his WAYN profile to include Canada and France, two countries he indeed has visited. And one other thing: he pronounces the website "Way In." That's awesome.

Happy Jerald Lunch Eve!

"From the death of each day's hope another hope sprung up to live to-morrow."
-Charles Dickens

Weeks have come down to days. And now, days to hours. Anticipation has crescendoed into a palpable, feverish buzz. WE ARE MEETING JERALD TOMORROW.

July 19, 2008 will be an historic date for Eat A Dick Joel. That's why we have decided to declare July 19 National Jerald Prevalence Day. Observance of this day will begin next year with the following itinerary:

8:00am General Welcome and releasing of the doves
8:30am The Popping o' the Collar
9:00-9:15am Mid-morning snack
9:15-10:00am Breaking up into discussion groups and "buddies"
10:00-11:00am Stretching and Calisthenics
11:30-12:00pm Pre-lunch snacks
12:00-2:00pm Lunch
2:00-2:30pm Mopping Lessons
2:30-3:00pm Talent Show
3:00-5:30pm Orgy
5:30-6:30pm Mid-afternoon snack
6:30-6:45pm Lecture: Popular Patio Floor Materials and Their Maintenance
6:45-7:00pm Dinner
7:00-10:00pm Awards Ceremony and Certification / Hoe Down

Now It's Time To Prepare.

"By failing to prepare you are preparing to fail."
-Benjamin Franklin

Some possible questions that EADJ is going to ask Jerald on Saturday (list is still being revised):

• What's with that photo?
• Which shirt collars do you pop, and which do you not?
• Does your roommate always catch you by surprise?
• Can you be more specific in your interests (art, music & concerts, watching DVD's/Videos)?
• Why would you mop a patio?
• Have you watched "The Incredible Hulk" yet? It's pretty good.
• Why do you only travel to Germany– and no other countries– then back?
• Have you ever heard of "Eat A Dick Joel?"
• How do you plan to prevail?

A QUIET MOMENT FOR REFLECTION!!!!!!!

"Expect nothing and accept everything and you will never be disappointed."

-Lawrence Overmire


The day is almost upon us. It's almost tangible. Just within reach of triumph. Or disappointment. Like, what if Jerald doesn't show? What if all our hopes and dreams are shattered in the last-minute cancellation? What if Loreley gets condemned by the Health Department the day before? So much potential for disaster.

But we mustn't let the endless possibilities for disappointment overshadow our hope, our singleminded, shining desire for happiness. Who knows what comes in the morrow? It is not for us to ask. It is only in our power to accept whatever does befall us and turn that into joy. That, my friends, is a bunch of bullshit I made up on the spot.

JERALD HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!HUZZAH!!!!!!

AND THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES!!!

“When things mean a very great deal to you, exciting anticipation just isn't safe.”

-Dodie Smith

As we enter our sub-five days into the Jerald Lunch countdown, it's important to remember how long it's been since we first discovered 'the Man.' It was Thursday, January 10th that Tom Weingard first noticed a bizarre email from WAYN.com. Tom had mistakenly remembered his name as Jerald Williams, when in fact it was JERALD JOHNSON. And it is this very same Jerald Johnson who is going to have lunch with us at Loreley in Manhattan on Saturday at noon. My, how far we've come...

*** SUPER HELLAJERALD UPDATE ***

“A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.”
-Mark Twain

The planets are lining up for the big EADJ Jerald meeting on Saturday. And with that, an additional variable has been entered in the equation: EADJ Ambassador John Reid has agreed to go with us to MEET JERALD!

What this will do to the delicate political balance of the conference is unknown. Stay tuned for the latest analysis from Wolf Blitzer, Anderson Cooper, and Darva Conger.

In related Jerald Lunch news, J'Net not-very-politely declined an invitation to join the group. She was overheard to say, "Whatever."

LET THE JERALD COUNTDOWN BEGIN!

It's really hard not to get excited about it, but EADJ's lunch with the one and only Jerald Johnson is THIS WEEK! Just 5 days until the greatest event in EADJ (hell, HUMAN) history.


Here at the EADJ offices we are all discussing the repercussions of the historic date. Some have even suggested that we start using a new system for dating our blog entries: BJJ and AJJ. Many writers and correspondents have called their families to tune in on that date to enjoy the photo, video, and written accounts that will be submitted. Our receptionist has even renamed her 7-year old son Jerald. Stay tuned for the latest in this fantastic, utterly exhilarating and historic event! I just came!

EXCLUSIVE OUTTAKES!

The following are exclusive outtakes from Andrew Gall's attempts at a Jerald Tribute photo:





It must be noted that Andrew attempted to take these photos on his own and stopped attempting once he had broken a candle holder in the process. Luckily, his newly-arrived fiancée Megan will be available to take one soon.

BONUS BONUS:

Through the miracle of computers, we have created a composite from the separate photos to bring you a "superphoto" of Andrew's cumulative attempts!