Eat A Dick, Joel: The Blog: Scaring People Away for Only $5

Monday, January 12, 2026

Pictured above, Five Below offers a way for Old Man Jenkins to keep meddling kids from snooping around their abandoned diamond mine.

A comprehensive list of everyone who has spotted the Shorter, Fatter Version of Scott Peterson

John Reid (August 23,2016) **MOLLUSK AWARD**
Tom Weingard (June 4, 2012) **DARK CHOCOLATE MOLLUSK AWARD** & (FEB 22, 2013) **KEVLAR PORTUGUESE MAN OF WAR AWARD**
Mig Ponce (Dec 7, 2011) **HOT SHOT CITY MOLLUSK AWARD**
Diego Guitierrez (Nov 3, 2011) **ROBIN MEADE MOLLUSK AWARD**
Vince Soliven (September 7, 2011) **ONYX MOLLUSK AWARD**
ANDY WESTBROCK (April 1, 2022) **ONYX MOLLUSK AWARD**
Emily Sander (Oct 25) ***PLATINUM MOLLUSK AWARD***
Barry F (June 29, 2009) ***JADE MOLLUSK AWARD***
Matt Spett (June 13)
Phil Flicklicker (May 24, Sept 25)
Pat Hanna (May 22)
Ryan Boblett (Mar 20, May 21) ***GOLD MOLLUSK AWARD***
Matt Webb (May 21)
Josh Witherspoon (mid April)
Michelle Litos (April 26, July 31)
Emily Kane (Mar 22, Oct 25) ***PLATINUM MOLLUSK AWARD***
Jessica Foster (Mar 22, June 18)
John Carstens (Early Feb 2007)
Christian Golden (Feb 2007)
Larry Liss (Feb 21, June 13, June 26)
Andrew Gall (Feb 21, May 9, July 26, July 27) ***PLATINUM & ADAMANTIUM MOLLUSK AWARD, SMECIAL POLONIUM MOLLUSK AWARD***
Joe Nudelman (Jan 22)
Todd Crisman (Jan 19)
David Estoye (Jan 17, 2007; June 8, 2009)

Monday, January 12, 2026