The Triumphant Post-Pandemic Return of the Blackberry Face!

Finally, a new entry after a hiatus of six years!

Was the wait worth it? :[

Not All Artwork Can Make It Into The Blackberry Face Exhibit

This item (nicknamed "Tessa") was submitted for entry into the Blackberry Face Exhibit- currently on display at the Kegan Worchestershire Gallery & Laundromat in Barcelona, Spain. Unfortunately, it takes more than a smartphone and a sour look on your mouth to qualify being added to the art show. Even celebrity lookalikes cannot make it into this exclusive collection.

"Tessa" fails to join the Blackberry Face Exhibit simply because she's not doing the "Blackberry Face." She is pursing her lips, which in many circles is instead referred to as a "duckmouth."

The Blackberry Face Exhibit will continue to be show at the Kegan Worchestershire Gallery & Laundromat until July 10, where it will relocate to the Terrence Üte Museum in Bierstadt, Korea. Admission will be $40 for adults and $50 for children under 10. No flash photography. And no "insies-and-outsies" once you enter.

Blackberry Face, Celebrity Lookalike Edition

This week, the EADJ Gallery was notified of a possible addition (or additions) to their vaunted "Blackberry Face" collection, now currently on display at the Serpentine Gallery in London.  The items in question were captured on a NJ Transit train and sent in with the heading "Kevin Bacon Blackberry Face?" See the entries below:

The resemblance is noticeable. And our gallery has confirmed that yes, the lookalike is sporting a true "Blackberry Face."

But as impressive and exquisite as this latest find is, the EADJ Gallery unfortunately cannot add "Kevin*" to their collection solely based upon its resemblance to a Hollywood actor. Although such an addition would invite stimulating new commentary on the entertainment industry and its role in pop culture, that is not the purpose of the Blackberry Face show. It is to the discretion of the gallery curators whether a piece is worthy of inclusion in this growing collection, and unfortunately "Kevin*" does not make the cut.

The current show at the Serpentine Gallery in London will run until April 18. Tickets are £10 (£5 for members) and can be purchased online or at the box office. Children under 5 are free but must be accompanied by an adult. No strollers.

:C

Blackberry Faces VIII and IX

The EADJ Gallery is pleased to announce not one, but two new acquisitions to the critically acclaimed "Blackberry Face" series.

These two significant pieces are essentially one photo captured on a New York 7 Train. Such a rare and beautiful occurrence is made even more incredible by the fact that it manages to document two different generations of Blackberry faces.

"Trevor and Josie" is a magnificent piece that captures the dichotomy of two generations, two sexes, and two pieces of technology. Trevor seems to grumpily collapse into his iPad browsing whilst Josie is upright but frowny-faced about her texting. Both cross their legs, but your eye is inevitably drawn towards Josie's crotch.

"Trevor and Josie" fill the eighth slot of this breathtaking octaptych, fulfilling the promise made by the Woodmere Art Museum curator Daphne Steins that the Blackberry Collection will be "the foremost exhibit in any metropolitan gallery in any city in Duluth, Minnesota."

The new exhibit will open on November 5. Gallery members and their guests will receive a 10% discount during regular viewing hours. Flash photography and videotaping will not be permitted. And please, smoking is not permitted inside the portico entrance.

More Proof That I'm Going To Die In A Car

Blackberry Face VII

Sometimes an art collection outgrows a gallery and must be moved to a facility that can handle its space requirements. The recent acquisition of "Debargo," the seventh addition to the renowned "The Blackberry Face" series has made it necessary to find a new gallery to house the master works.

"Debargo" is a beautiful new piece, captured in Midtown New York and donated to the EADJ Gallery by James and Hillary Fallopian of the Fallopian Foundation. This seventh piece has made it necessary to find a new home for the collection when the curator found that the East Gallery could barely display the previous six pieces without causing a fire hazard.

"Debargo" depicts a middle aged man of unknown ethnic origin enjoying some "choons" on his phone or mp3 player. The rapturous expression on his face suggest freedom and escape to counteract the emotional ballast that is his sturgeon mouth.

Before this seventh piece, the collection resembled the compartmentalized photos of Dawoud Bey's Candida and Her Mother, Celia, II displayed at The Art Institute of Chicago. So "Debargo" has created new artistic interpretations of the overall collection as well as new challenges to its storage and display.

Click to enlarge:

The resulting new septaptych is breathtaking in its scope and scale. Gone is the stability and security of an even number as the juxtaposition of man and handheld machine is thrown into beautiful, asymmetric chaos.

Top row, from left: "Maggie," "Frank," "Edvard," "Debargo"
Bottom row, from left: "Tony," "Sam," "Doug"

The Blackberry Collection will be displayed in the Founder's and Parlor Gallery at the Woodmere Art Museum in Philadelphia, starting June 9. Admission will be $10 adults; $7 seniors; FREE for members, children, and students with current ID. No flash photography or pets.

:C

Blackberry VI

A mere 37 days after the EADJ Gallery had acquired a fifth invaluable addition to "The Blackberry Face," they witness a holiday miracle in a much sought-after sixth piece to their already impressive collection: "Doug."


"Doug" was donated by an anonymous private collector who discovered him in a West Elm in Paramus, New Jersey. And unlike four of the previous pieces, "Maggie," "Frank," "Tony," and "Edvard," "Doug" is captured off of any mass transit, instead relaxing on a sofa at the front of the store while his wife picks out wall art or vases or some shit.


With a gala opening and ceremony, the EADJ Gallery will reveal its first ever completed hexaptych on January 4 in the Main Gallery and will be free to the public. The Young Artists Juried Show has accordingly been moved to the East Gallery since it wasn't very good to begin with.


Photography and video recording of any kind will be prohibited. Armed guards will be stationed throughout the show. No food or drink is allowed.

:C

Blackberry Face IV V

Starting in the first week of December, EADJ's exhibit "The Blackberry Face" will be augmented with a monumental new piece, recently acquired by the EADJ Museum Society as a permanent addition to the collection.


"Edvard" is a groundbreaking new masterwork that has rocked the art world to its foundation- it stays true to the spirit of its predecessors while at the same time challenging the very definition of what a "Blackberry Face" can be.


Not only is "Edvard" the first recording of a "Blackberry Face" outside of the New Jersey Transit Line, it is the very first instance of someone making a "Blackberry Face" while reading a Kindle. The repercussions of this new "game-changing" discovery have yet to be realized by the art press and the world in general.


"Edvard" joins "Maggie," "Frank," and "Tony," thereby converting the admired triptych into the rarer tetraptych.

The Blackberry Face Collection has been made possible by our chief patron, the Rembrandt Society. With special thanks to Canon Cameras, Blue Moon Beer and the Chubb Corporation. Additional finance has been supplied by the Bequest of Mrs Riemsdijk-Borsje, who the museum manager went to school with.

:C

***UPDATE***

Due to a GLARING oversight on EADJ's part, we mistakenly reported that "Edvard" was the fourth new "Blackberry Face," when in fact there already WAS a fourth, "Sam," which was added to the collection in May of this year. Readers must be assured this was not racially motivated.




This now means that "Edvard" is no longer the first "Blackberry Face" featured out of the NJ Transit train, and yet it remains the first one to feature a Kindle. "Edvard" now upgrades this rare tetraptych to an even rarer pentaptych.

EADJ's "Blackberry Face" Series Grows

It is with great pleasure that EADJ announces a fourth addition to the fine art photography showcased in its East Wing, namely its "Blackberry Face" series.

"Sam" joins "Maggie," "Frank," and "Tony" to become the second minority and the first African American work in the permanent collection.


A refreshing departure from the interior locale of a commuter train, "Sam" opens up a whole new world with sidewalks, signage and even other people in the background. Also, the skewed composition of the shot breaks from the formal portraiture format to become more accessible and approachable to the viewer. A tension between secrecy and openness is apparent for the first time, breathing new vitality into the series and redefining what a "Blackberry Face" can be.


The gallery, anticipating a new rush of viewers, will now be open early at 8am Mon-Thurs, (excluding holidays) at the Kunst Room at the McGrath/Jensen Library. Visitors are invited to see the series in its chronological order, although the gallery space does allow for roaming.


:C

Announcing The Newest Addition To EADJ's "Blackberry Face" Series

EADJ is proud to present our latest acquisition, "Tony"


"Tony" boasts an undeniable tension in composition through the subject's posture and concentrated expression. The bond between machine and man is overwhelming here, signifying an unbreakable relationship and co-dependence. "Tony" measures 57" by 78" and is lovingly mounted on acid-free archival watercolor paper.


"Tony" joins "Maggie" and "Frank" in EADJ's private collection. Showings can be scheduled between 10am and 4pm, Mon-Thurs, (excluding holidays) at the Kunst Room at the McGrath/Jensen Library. No food or drink is allowed.


:C

Smecial Dreams Entry!

Blackberry Face II

The EADJ Blackberry Face is proud to announce a new addition to their exhibit: "Frank."


This coupled with our existing exhibit, "Maggie," now doubles the Blackberry Face exhibit, already on display:


:C

Proof I'm Going To Die In A Cab

Blackberry Face

Blackberry Face affects 1 in 30 Blackberry users.


What is Blackberry Face?
Blackberry Face is an expression similar to Sturgeon Face, except it appears during moments of intense concentration, rather than when saying, "Not bad, but could be better." The mouth is turned down, the chin protrudes a little, and the user starts to resemble Jim Backus from "Gilligan's Island" or one of those statues on Easter Island. (They're both island-related; what could that mean?)


Should people stop using Blackberrys?
Absolutely. But not to avoid having Blackberry Face. People should stop using smartphones in general because it makes them look like total tools when they're friends are trying to have a serious conversation with them. Are you even listening to me, Gail?



:[

See, This Is How You Do It.

Spotted on the NJ Transit Train from NYC, a fellow commuter has it all figured out:




A) Brown-bagged Coors Light purchased at Penn Station

B) iPod cranking either Pussy Cat Dolls or Steve Earle

C) Wallet opened to show monthly pass for when conductor comes by

D) Blackberry to text mistress/boyfriend that he forgot his Vicodin in the hotel room

E) 9mm gun hidden in satchel for when the wife finds out about mistress/boyfriend and leaves him, taking the house, children, and car and forcing him to live at the local motel with nothing but a meth addiction and a box of KFC.

A Shout Out

EADJ would like to congratulate Eric Tao on his 20+ lb. weight loss since last June.


The difference is certainly noticeable. Great work, Eric!

*BONUS: Look over at the animated GIF on the right. Eric tells me he's been told he looks like Jon Gosselin. S'true!

Jessica Trouble

Jessica lost her Blackberry today. So that blows.
If you know Jessica and would like to give her your number, send it to jfoster@c-k.com. Warning: this is her work email, so if your domain name is anything like hotdudecocks.com or fistingjeffrey.net, it will probably be blocked.

(pictured above, a photo from last year where Jessica and Michelle went to a Jamiroquai concert at the Congress Theatre, only to find it completely dark and empty. Turns out the show was the NIGHT BEFORE! Yaaaaaaay!)