The Drake/Kendrick Rap Beef Explained— Sponsored by Utz

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🤯

Wait. Wait. Wait. You mean to tell me, these POTATO chips are flavored as French fried POTATOES?!!! GTFO

Smecial Dreams Entry

There are only three entries here, but that's enough because there's plenty to unpack here.

A Dose of Randomness

Beth Stone called our attention to a Hallmark store on 40th and Madison that featured some pretty random shit. Like a giraffe playing keyboard (this is before that Samberg SNL skit aired) and a pumpkin wearing a shirt saying "bonjour."


This, however, was the coup de grace:



Like, what the fuck.

Laying it on thick

Things I don't expect to hear anytime soon from a cab driver:

"Those bike messengers are a pure delight!"

"You want to pay with a credit card? No problem, boss!"

"Why yes, I will hang up my cell phone so that I can concentrate on driving."

"Rice and Western? I know exactly where that is and will get you there posthaste!"

"You want a receipt? Here, take a whole pad of 'em!"

"You're right. Me blasting NPR doesn't make me appear any smarter. I'll turn it down."

"There are seven of you, and you're all obnoxiously drunk? Pile in, kids!"

"My name is Dean Hacohen."

"You don't have enough money? TUUUUUUUU!"

"You no make fun. My name really TRAN PHAT."


(pictured above, Nancy M watches as four gallons of sour cream are slathered onto her ginormous Morton's tater)

It's time to play "That's Funny Cuz!"

That's funny,cuz...

*** UPDATE *** Eat a Dick Joel has now reached 150 entries! We'd like to thank Joel Thomas for the opportunity and for giving us so much to work with. "Eat a dick" to all who helped get us here! Excelsior!