Type Problem

Spotted online: A Beat Street 40th Anniversary t-shirt:

The problem is that the "40" looks like "HO", so doesn't it now look like BEAT HO STREET?

"If You Want To See The True Measure Of A Man, Watch How He Treats His Pathmark, Not His Equals."

Some Regular Words That Could Easily Be The Name For An All Male Revue

Any of the following words and phrases could be written on a white board outside a male strip club and patrons wouldn't bat an eye. Here are some very feasible (and available!) names for all male revues:

Magic Eraser
Manscape
Mail Drop
Musselwhite
Saks Fifth Avenue
Outback Steakhouse
Bulgaria
BD Wong
Dickinson College
Sweat Bees
Manchuria
Dongle Connector
Meet The Press
Macho Brace
Muscovites
Bosu Balls
Butch Goring
Butt Dial
Chest of Drawers

The ProofrEADJer: Almost August And Everything After Edition

UAG

Wotta Guy

Barry and I were walking on 3rd Avenue and spotted this guy lounging on a bench, wearing a t-shirt that said, "Buy A Donkey."


"Buy A Donkey?!" What the hell could that mean? Is that some obscure street lingo? Is it an ad asking you to contribute to the Democratic party? Or to really purchase a donkey for whatever reason? Whatever the answer, the guy wearing the shirt was perfectly comfortable not explaining himself. Not that we asked.

AWESOME YouTube Comment O' the Fortnight

From the YouTube page for the song named "Yatta!" a great comment by 23-year old AtheistAssassin13:

"God, this song kicks your mother's ass and forces your family to watch. That's how awesome it is."

EADJ Presents: The Worst Obama Shirts EVAR

Over the past 20 months, Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama has inspired a grassroots movement. This movement has inspired people to hand out flyers, campaign via telephone, and sometimes design some godawful t-shirts via CafePress. EADJ has found some of the worst-designed Obama shirts and would like to share them with you now. NOW, I said.


The "Spitting Image"
Believe it or not, that is actually an illustration of Obama, not a silkscreened photograph. I know, right?


The "Kremlin"
Some college student saw some Soviet propaganda posters and figured this would be good for a t-shirt. Obviously an art student and not a poli sci major. Idiot.


The "Tyler Durden"
Bo-rrowed int-rest, CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP.


The "Ninja Turtle"
Great for wearing to get that "what the fuck is that asshole wearing?" look from people. I really don't get it. What is the connection? They're both "heroic?" They both climbed out of meager beginnings? They both enjoy pizza and skateboarding? I've sat here a good fifteen minutes thinking about this one. Obama had a mentor named "Splinter?"


The SNL "Inside Reference"
Fucking hell. Let me organize my thoughts here. Number one, "more cowbell" is from a skit from April 2000, for crying out loud. So, the only people who somehow think that is still funny are two merchants at a marketplace in New Delhi. Secondly, implying that Obama needs something that goes on a cow is extremely racially insensitive. Kidding.


The "Barcode"
Another design that doesn't make much sense. Except maybe promoting Obama as a true agent of total generic sameness.


The "Top Gun"
This is spectacularly stupid. Hello? "Maverick?"


Barack of Ages
Hey, just because some fundamentalists are calling Obama the Antichrist doesn't mean you have to go the opposite end of the offensive spectrum. Get a hold of yourself, man. Jesus t-shirts are so never.


The "Kanji"
Get it? It says "change" in some exotic oriental lettering. Why? Because I'm from the 80's! I still wear my keyboard tie! Kyrie Eleison, down the road that I must travel!


The "Holy Fucking Shit Who Is That Z-List Celeb With Her Horribly Disfigured Dog?"
The heart near the crotch. The unforgivable use of the phrase "bad girls." The grunge type. The pink fur on the unwilling toy bichon frisé or whatever. The mothercocking HEADBAND. The whole thing is so piss-in-my-eye awful that it actually makes me want to vote for McCain. And rape myself.

Sublime Nonsense #4 or 5, I Forget Which

Click to enlarge:

Today's Weather in Midtown

62°F, Mostly Cloudy
Wind: E at 6 mph
Humidity: 55%

But still not warm enough to justify this:


Tom says the dude totally checks out Matt's ass in the second clip.

Let's Find New Ways To Criticize the EADJ Mail Sack!

Below, a submission by Joel himself that explodes the myth that he only likes Asian girls.


"Don't remember anymore why I was looking for this once in order to send to you, but I stumbled upon it today."

Static!

Static shock in the Thomas household!

Due to very dry weather in the L.A. area, the air in Joel's apartment has gotten very susceptible to static shock. It only makes things worse that Joel chooses to traipse around his apartment in nothing but wool socks. Sure, it's sexy, but dangerous!

Just yesterday afternoon Joel walked from his dick-eating bench in the office/guest room to the kitchen to make himself a smoothie. When he touched the blender, it sent a static shock so severe he spoke Spanish briefly:

"¡Que pasa! Estática que conmocionó al infierno de mí!"

Joel's chimp servant Chad Yarboro has been smart enough to avoid the floor altogether, swinging from sconce to sconce like my balls on Joel's chin.

Next Monday it's supposed to rain, so Joel will go sockless this weekend.

(pictured above, I can't tell if the t-shirt is being ironic or not. Your thoughts, reader?)


Wow. We haven't heard from you in like, forever, Pewter Bear. Man was that a long, wonderful period of no weak-ass pussiness. Seeing your stupid, hateable, smashable face again makes us realize that your death would be the greatest celebration this hemisphere has ever witnessed. FUCK OFF.

Meanwhile, During the Conference Call...

Click for the larger, frameable version.