In the Home and Garden section, a product called Envirolog Color-Flame, which apparently makes your bonfires more outspoken about LGBTQ rights.
The third step in the instructions on the back is interesting: "Control your excitement."
Oh, it's controlled, all right. Maybe not as enthusiastic as the Envirolog folks had anticipated, since I'm now concerned about what toxic chemicals I'm inhaling in my yard to generate these unnatural colors?
Oh good. There's a chart online:
This is going to kill a lot of Cub Scouts.
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