New EADJ Segment: Tucker Carlson Questions Everything

Former Fox News pinhead and frozen dinner heir Tucker Carlson once famously questioned whether diversity really was our strength. But did you know, he also bravely questioned other commonly accepted things?

An Imagined Conversation

"Okay, Crusader crew! Good work getting us through tech rehearsal today! We've blocked everything out, made proper adjustments to costume and backdrops, and have printed all the programs and tickets. Looks like we're ready to rock a Sunday premiere! Does anyone have any questions before we wrap it up for the night?"

*raises hand*

"Yes? Vance?"

"Don, is it a good idea to do this in the middle of a WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC?"

"Is what a good idea?"

"Is putting on a big expensive production with dozens of cast members and crew in a theatre full of hundreds of people a good idea in the middle of the Covid shutdown?"

"Well, we did budget for it last year."

"Yeah, but we didn't anticipate a full shutdown of society to prevent the spread of a deadly, untreatable disease whose method of transmission we don't even fully understand yet."

"Like I said, we did budget for it last year."

Say Goodbye To Some Straw Men In Marketing!

Bye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! 

"Woke bank" LOL

The ProofrEADJer, Early March Edition

Go back to school, folks!

Dear Dunkin/Baskin Robbins

Stop. Just stop.

You're trying way too hard and just embarrassing yourself. For the sake of both your brands, just stick with what you do best and leave the weird shit to the food trucks.

A Racist Appliances Quick Take

 Other, more fleshed out Racist Appliances entries can be found here.

Edit: Okay, okay. Apparently I made the exact same joke here, and it was only LAST YEAR that I did it.

I'll let it stand just for the hell of it, but trust we will start QUALITY CONTROLLING this blog again sometime in the near future. Apologies.

It's Time Once Again To Say Goodbye To Shit That Advertisers Want You To Say Goodbye To

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Good bye! Goodbye! Goodbye! 

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

 

Amerie is naked at the JC Penney Portrait Studio.

Hand puppets + marionette strings + Brady Bunch grid = Almost total confusion

Ew.

Ew. Again.

Maybe try digging the underwear out of your ass beforehand, eh?

I don't know either of these two gentlemen, but I imagine they wasted a million dollars in their effort.

WTH. Fine. As is.

Some mixtape covers are better left blank.

Is that shaving cream? Stuffing? Semen? Bubbles? Fuck it– pass.

Smecial Dreams Entry

There are only three entries here, but that's enough because there's plenty to unpack here.

A Friend Request on Facebook

That's funny, Shelia. I just woke up and wet my dick. I want to have fun with me, too.

UAG

UAG

OMG! JERALD JOHNSON MAKES CONTACT!!!

In a move that will send shockwaves throughout the online community and blogosphere, EADJ is proud to report that the elusive Jerald Johnson has not only recently contacted Tom Weingard, but David Estoye as well.


And not only has he added me as a friend, he has requested that I fill in a section called "The best thing about Jerald is..."


Here's what I wrote:

"If you were to ask me the best thing about Jerald Johnson, I would say it is that the man is stylish. Even when mopping a tile patio (an extremely rare thing in New York, United States) he has enough sense of style to pop the collar of his Structure polo shirt. I mean, just because you have to do menial labor doesn't mean you can't be pimpin, too. And judging from the photo, he is thorough enough in his task to sweep beforehand. Jerald is one severely neat dude."