Hawaii Roof Was Nervous.

 

Hawaii Roof was nervous.

Workout Machine couldn't bear to look.

Electric Meter Camel smiled upside down.

Side of House was scandalized.

And Detergent Jugs all sat in silent judgment.

Let's Comb The Pomade Out of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Two submissions by Andrew, who seems to getting lots of mileage from his new smartphone lomo filter:

Vince gives tribute to Blean Blablohen:


And Andrew does a "PBR Goatse:"


Barry submits this via text:

"I just thought you would want to see this. Why, I can't say."

Let's Bathe With Olive Oil And Potpourri In The EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Mig Ponce via text:


And submitted by Jessica via text:


Apparently Goatse got divorced?

Hey, T-Mobile Girl,

Please stop. You're nothing more than a poor imitation of the famous and award-winning "Mac Vs. PC" ad campaign that Apple ran for, like, years.


What, you say that Apple campaign has ended, so it's fair game now? Do you think the public actually has that short a memory? That's pretty insulting. Oh, you say that you're actually a riff- an homage- to the "Mac Vs. PC" campaign, turning it on its ear to parody your service's superiority to AT&T's? Maybe. But if so, you're 1. Not being very clever with the parody 2. Replacing two talented comic actors with yourself and a male model who isn't even remotely interesting 3. Broccoli with beef on rice (asterisk denotes spicy)


T-Mobile Girl, I'm not blaming you for this advertising fiasco. I'm sure you're a nice person, and you seem to deliver your lines with skill, so I'm not going to pick on you. I just find it cynical that someone plopped a pretty girl in a pink dress without any irony or purpose.


After a minor bit of Googling, I've learned this actress is named Carly Foulkes and she's also a bikini model.


Never mind, Carly. Carry on!

An Appropriate Reaction.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Let's Fan Our Fart Towards The EADJ Mail Sack While It's Eating!

Submitted by Vince, two Internet memes in one:

Let's Open the EADJ Mail Sa...HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WHAT IS THAT?

from Vince, a Goatse cake:

Halloween Goatse!

Found in the Toucan Cleric's Fun Media Library:

Let's Lift the Unwashed Flap of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Forwarded by Jessica Foster:

From: Michelle Litos
Date: Tue, 05 Feb 2008 09:23:50 -0600
To: #CHI_CREATIVE <#CHI_CRXATIVE@C-K.com>
Conversation: Important!
Subject: Important!

I have two pazcki at my desk right now. If you know what this is, I don't need to explain why you have to come over and get one now. For the love of God, please don't let me eat another one.

-Michelle






Happy Ash Wednesday!

♥♥♥ EADJ Connections, Part 4 ♥♥♥

Today, Ayana contacted the EADJ offices in New York to report an EADJ connection: that a C-K candidate forgot her last name, googled "Ayana" and "Cramer-Krasselt," and found Ayana looking at a Goatse from our October 2 entry!

"Hysterical. If you google me, there's a giant shot of an ANUS that I'm looking at!!! Love it." Ayana added.

Good sleuthing, potential C-K replacement for Ranee Wu!

Also today, Michelle Litos reported that her old classmate who had found her through EADJ had just contacted her through Facebook, another stalker's wonderland:



The super-weird thing, though, is that the dude sort of resembles EADJ Editor David Estoye, but with a winning smile and dimples:


What's with the grocery store roses? And is that motherfucker wearing a cape? Weirdo.

Michelle could not confirm the whereabouts of Karen, Sandy or Melanie.

These latest EADJ connections confirm a widely held belief that through the combined forces of Google and Eat a Dick Joel, anyone can find a photo of anyone else taking a poop. Thanks, technology!

***UPDATE*** It is possible, however unconfirmed, that Michelle's college friend is actually Lestat, the famous vampire from the Anne Rice novels.

You gotta be dicking me, Joel

(pictured above, Ayana's first Goatse)

Two Quotes

"Last night I had a dream that John Reid was gonna move to a new house, but he didn't want to leave his because the bar next door served him for free."

- Bill Dow






"It's awful. I dropped my ice pack. I got my wisdom teeth out... and that was more painful to see."

- Jessica, upon seeing the Goatse entry for the first time.

Apologies Are In Order, Part 2

Eat A Dick Joel would like to apologize to Mel Kreilein, who had never seen Goatse until yesterday's post. We are sorry to be the first to have exposed you to that, Mel. Your eyes will never be the same, dude.

(pictured above, the exciting new cross-eyed dolls from the Fox program "Prison Break.")

Best Reaction Ever.

J'Net's reaction upon seeing Goatse for the first time:

"He's married."