The ProofrEADJer: Mid-January Edition

Spotted At the Mall

LOOK AT ALL YOU CAN GET FOR $19

The ProofrEADJer, Early January Edition

Saying Goodbye To 2025 and Other Things Advertisers Want You To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! Goodbye! *Kiss* So Long! Goodbye!

Hey, Wait a Minute.

This truck that advertises a business called JUST DRAINS instantly contradicts itself by also offering all sorts of other sewer and drain services.

That means it's NOT JUST DRAINS, JUST DRAINS.

Dollar Express Ad or David Lynch Nightmarish Mood Board?

cue dark Angelo Badalamenti music

Walmart Ad Carousel or David Cronenberg Nightmare Fuel?

Spotted on Faceboko: Walmart presents one horror after another, creating a montage of unsettling terror.

7 days after you watch this video, you will get a phone call that tells you that you'll die.

Yeah, Baby, Yeah!

 Spotted in a church bulletin: a local realtor is one set of bad teeth away from Shagadelic, baby!

"Oh behave!"

They Should've Workshopped That Tagline A Little More

A one-sheet poster for the movie "Worst Christmas Ever":
 

Is... is that a domestic violence joke? For a Christmas movie about family?

Yikes

Spotted on FB, what I thought was a demonic claw turns out to be a fluffy carpet. Whew!

A Baffling Tie-In

Spotted at Walgreens, a poster for... uh... What is this poster for?

It's not selling any merchandise that ties in with the release of "Freakier Friday". The poster is placed at the front of the store, not next to anything in particular. And the copy just reads:

From mundane Mondays to freakier Fridays, we got you.

Whether you're 18, 80 or somewhere in between, Walgreens is here to help.

We're for Women.

What the hell? Disney just gave Walgreens money to display a super vague, half-assed movie mention in the hope that somebody who needed lip balm or their diuretic medication sees it and immedately wants to watch the movie? We're they hoping their target audience would be like, "I was gonna grab some M&Ms, VO5 shampoo and a bedpan, but now that you mention it, I think I'm going to see the Lindsey Lohan/Jamie Lee Curtis long awaited sequel 'FREAKIER FRIDAY' in theatres now!"

Could someone in marketing please explain this to me? thx

BONUS Semi-related segment:

I saw this photo on Facebook and my dumb geek ass briefly thought Jamie Lee Curtis was standing in an R2D2 body.

Let's Turn a Jeans Sales Display Into Sequential Storytelling!

I was bored at the Levi's Store while my sons were shopping, and I spotted four posters on one wall and figured, What if that was somehow a comic strip-style story?

Here's a close up of the posters. And here we go:

Toby was feeling pretty happy and carefree.

But then his needy sister Charlotte stopped him and they started wondering what they were going to do for dinner.

Toby realized they didn't have any money.

But luckily their friend Cade had a roll of quarters and they ate Funyuns from the vending machine!

The end. I didn't say it was a good sequential story.

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes...

Pictured below: A banner for Secret Body Spray: 

Pits, Underboobs, Privates, Feet.

Coincidentally, these four areas are where inmates in women's prisons are searched for weapons.

These could also be the nicknames of four female mafia enforcers.

Sofia "Pits" Scapelli

Lucia "Underboobs" Russo

Viola "Privates" Barbieri

Ginevra "Feet" De Luca

A Bad Visual For a Bad Ad

Pictured below: a web banner for Banatrol (?!?!) where apparently a woman likes to sniff her fingers after having chronic diarrhea.

“Sometimes, when I get nervous, I stick my hands under my armpits and then I smell them like this!” - Mary Catherine Gallagher, SNL

An Imagined Conversation

"Jake, Nathan, put your shoes on."

"Yay! Are we going to go play pickleball?"

"No, you're going with me to a photoshoot."

"But we don't want to be models like you, Dad!"

"I want to be an MMA fighter!"

"Just this once, boys. I got a callback for a lifestyle shoot for CVS."

"Aw man."

"No, Nathan. It's gonna be fun. All we have to be is the adult son and the two grandkids of the main model, who's receiving their CVS prescription."

"So we just stand there?"

"Yeah. To show that we're supportive family members when our elders need us. Like how I need you two to come along with me on this shoot instead of wasting time at the pickleball court."

"Aw man."

The ProofrEADJer: Mid-May Edition

The ProofrEADJer: May Edition

Type Problem

Spotted online: A Beat Street 40th Anniversary t-shirt:

The problem is that the "40" looks like "HO", so doesn't it now look like BEAT HO STREET?

Hey, What Say We Say Goodbye To Stuff Advertisers Want Us To Say Goodbye To?

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!