Spotted on FB

Jesus. I'd have trouble spelling my name if it was that. 

Spotted on FB

Great, that's all we need. Karens being told that God is on their side to give them more confidence.

What The "Plus" Means Whenever You See It

 

Unleaded Plus

"Plus" =  about .20 more just to feel like you're not poor

  

Batteries Plus

"Plus" = battery carriers? battery cases?

The real question is how the hell is this place still in business? Does anyone ever go to a store only for batteries? You can buy those shits at any convenience store, gas station, drug store... shit, I've got some batteries in my pocket right now. How many do you want?

 

Self Storage Plus

"Plus" = discreetly looking the other way when you haul in a bloody rolled up rug into your storage unit at 4:30 in the morning

 

A Plus

"Plus" = a shitter that doesn't flush with no toilet paper, so you're forced to wipe your ass with those blue paper towels you're supposed to use for windshields

 

Ice Crystals Plus

"Plus" = unmeltable pellets that stay in your driveway cracks until the end of time 

 

Spectrum Plus

"Plus" =   surprisingly, guacamole. Yum!

♥♥♥ EADJ Connections, Part 4 ♥♥♥

Today, Ayana contacted the EADJ offices in New York to report an EADJ connection: that a C-K candidate forgot her last name, googled "Ayana" and "Cramer-Krasselt," and found Ayana looking at a Goatse from our October 2 entry!

"Hysterical. If you google me, there's a giant shot of an ANUS that I'm looking at!!! Love it." Ayana added.

Good sleuthing, potential C-K replacement for Ranee Wu!

Also today, Michelle Litos reported that her old classmate who had found her through EADJ had just contacted her through Facebook, another stalker's wonderland:



The super-weird thing, though, is that the dude sort of resembles EADJ Editor David Estoye, but with a winning smile and dimples:


What's with the grocery store roses? And is that motherfucker wearing a cape? Weirdo.

Michelle could not confirm the whereabouts of Karen, Sandy or Melanie.

These latest EADJ connections confirm a widely held belief that through the combined forces of Google and Eat a Dick Joel, anyone can find a photo of anyone else taking a poop. Thanks, technology!

***UPDATE*** It is possible, however unconfirmed, that Michelle's college friend is actually Lestat, the famous vampire from the Anne Rice novels.