Showing posts with label guy lombardo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guy lombardo. Show all posts

Monday, November 14, 2016

Some Possible Complications from Casting a Black Man As Frosty The Snowman

I got this flyer in the mail from the Paper Mill Playhouse advertising children's shows in December (not sure why C.S. News' "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" is considered a Christmas play, but whatever). What struck me was the bold casting of an African American actor as Frosty the Snowman.


An unorthodox and progressive move, to be sure. You would think a snowman would be white, right? And I do applaud casting a minority actor beyond the typical roles that they get. But this clear demonstration of inclusiveness and seeing beyond color – especially in this political environment – somehow doesn't sit well with me in this case. Maybe considering the Paper Mill is located in the fairly wealthy, white township of Millburn, NJ? Who knows.


Here now are some red flags that the producers of the show might have seen but plowed past anyway:

• Racists in the audience might cheer when Frosty melts

• The whole "magical negro" thing

• Frosty is in possession of a stolen hat

• Helping a black man travel north on a railroad

• The possible message that a black man needs the help of white children to survive

• Creating the fiction that a black man can roam around New York City without being hassled

• Snow purists might be offended he's performing in "white face"

• Mike Pence might show up

• Children might make their own snowman afterward and be disappointed theirs doesn't resemble Kevin Hart

• It might inspire African American boys to stop applying to colleges to become snowmen instead

• The bumpity-bump-bump remix featuring Rihanna was unnecessary

Friday, June 20, 2014

Jack Bauer, Pun Cop

The following takes place between 11:00am and 12:00pm.

Events occur in real time.



Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong...


"Chloe, I need you to decrypt the files I've taken from a thumb drive I picked off a terrorist's corpse."

"Scanning, Jack. Uploading the first three."





"Hmm. Nothing there. Just lazy food-related puns. This isn't the information we need to stop the virus bomb, Chloe. What else have you got? I need something I can act on."

"Stand by, Jack."


"Is that a real beer? Jesus."

"It was found by an agent Barry Flanik, sir."

"I don't know who that is. Send me more as it comes, Chloe, I have to rappel off this bridge."


"Chloe, what is this?"

"It's a screenshot from a news program, Jack."

"I know that. These puns are getting worse. We have to locate that virus bomb, Chloe!"

"I'm doing my best, Jack!"



"'Squeeze the Day?!' 'Give Peeps a Chance?!' Things are way worse than I thought they were, Chloe. This effects the whole damn city. We have to triangulate where the signal is coming from and tell the police to evacuate from a six block radius!"


"Dear God. They've gotten an entire city bus. Move move move!"

"Jack, here comes another one."


"Chloe, I can't read that. I've been shot in the stomach. Lost a lot of blood. Tell me how bad the pun is."

"Pretty bad, Jack. There were two of them. Okay, I've isolated the signal and have pinpointed the location along with another file! Uploading now!"


"Is that even a pun, Chloe? Railroads use ties, not rivets. I think that one is a reach."

"Sorry, Jack. I'm just a little frazzled trying to type while being shot at in the Turkistan embassy."

"Just stay cool, Chloe. I'm sure the S.W.A.T. team is on the way."

Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong





"What the hell is this, Chloe?! This is no good! It's a six month old signal, from CHRISTMAS!!! WE'VE LOST THE TRAIL!!!! DAMMIT!"

Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Let's Comb The Pomade Out of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Two submissions by Andrew, who seems to getting lots of mileage from his new smartphone lomo filter:

Vince gives tribute to Blean Blablohen:


And Andrew does a "PBR Goatse:"


Barry submits this via text:

"I just thought you would want to see this. Why, I can't say."

Tuesday, October 28, 2008