UAG Update

An IM I got recently from my friend Tom: 

Stacked Highchairs Were Scared

Stacked Highchairs were scared.

Screen Door was also frightened.

Tour Bus laughed at their cowardice.

Chocolate Chips on Whipped Cream felt empathy for them.

Janitor Mop Bucket just wanted to get out of there.

UAG

Motorcycle Pouch Was Happy

Motorcycle Pouch was happy.

Bike Rack Bracket was unshaven and surprised.

Console just remembered a funny joke he should tell.

Jiffy Lube Tanks wanted to stay out of it.

Contortionist Robot had the right idea.

Papper Towels and Boot had a great idea.

Two White Barriers decided to break up and mingle a little bit, although one was miffed about it.

UAG

UAG

25 Days of Hallmark Movies: Day 18: "My Christmas Grandpa" Starring Bill Cobbs and Vivica A. Fox

Kids in these movies are annoyingly selfless when it comes to their Christmas wish. They always wish their parents would get along or that their quirky aunt would find someone special. Which is bullshit because real life kids would step over their grandmother for a new drone or Hatchimals. In this short film from Lifetime, a young girl turns her back on the entire toy industry–and all the people who depend on toy sales to feed their families–and wishes for something abstract. Can you even imagine? How selfish.

Plot summary: "The cashier at a small market is a grouchy man who never has a smile for anyone; but when a little girl asks for a Grandpa for Christmas and chooses him, he is completely transformed by the child’s love and compassion."

Romance Factor: N/A

Christmas Cheer: 9

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10

Time Until First Kiss: N/A (gross, dude!)

Smoothie Carton Was Happy.

Smoothie Carton was happy.

Stormtrooper Sneaker was happy for him.

Building Coupling was puzzled.

Beer Cooler wept bitter tears.

ATM was feeling randy.

Truck Refrigerator was less than thrilled.

Doohickeys On A Truck Bed were silently appalled.

Oven Shelving enjoyed some cookies.

Park Bench Claptrap sat in the wet.

Ethernet Wall Plug frowned on it all.

Washer/Dryer Was Disenfranchised.

Washer/Dryer was disenfranchised.

Bathroom Stall Hinge was, too.

And so was whatever the hell this thing is.

Crocs On A Drum tried to look on the bright side.

Snow Sled was not having it. "Bucket," he said.

Condom Machine Was Depressed.

Condom Machine was depressed.

CVS Photo Machine said, "Cheer up!"

Bank Deposit Box just stayed out of it.

Back Window of Flatbed Truck also felt a little glum.

Back of Flatscreen Monitor also suffered from depression.

McDonald's Trash Can still felt super-great.

Tampon Machine was surprised he could shed a tear.