An Imagined Conversation

"Hey, are you ready to grill some delicious top sirloins, Buck?"

"Hell, yeah I am. It took me a while, but I finally got the charcoal burning steady at the perfect temperature, and without the help of any lighting fluid, so these cuts of meat are going to be done just right."

"Okay, so we got the meat in the package, some spice rubs (which I don't think we need), some steak sauce (which I also think we can skip, knowing my grilling skills!) and uh... this here pack of Omaha Steaks Conversation Cards?"

"What the..."

"Not sure what to do with these. Think I'll chuck 'em."

"No! Since we're gonna be standing here for a while, we might as well try a few questions."

"Hm. Not really my thing, but okay."

(reads the first card)

"'Assuming every man or woman has their price, what is yours?'"

"Uh, pass on that one."

"'Does the success of your friends motivate or frustrate your own progress in life?'"

"Not sure what that means."

"'In moments of intimacy, are you more of a "giver" or a "taker?"'"

"Jesus."

"'When have you loved someone who has not loved you back?'"

"Can we just cook these steaks without talking?"

Hey, T-Mobile Girl,

Please stop. You're nothing more than a poor imitation of the famous and award-winning "Mac Vs. PC" ad campaign that Apple ran for, like, years.


What, you say that Apple campaign has ended, so it's fair game now? Do you think the public actually has that short a memory? That's pretty insulting. Oh, you say that you're actually a riff- an homage- to the "Mac Vs. PC" campaign, turning it on its ear to parody your service's superiority to AT&T's? Maybe. But if so, you're 1. Not being very clever with the parody 2. Replacing two talented comic actors with yourself and a male model who isn't even remotely interesting 3. Broccoli with beef on rice (asterisk denotes spicy)


T-Mobile Girl, I'm not blaming you for this advertising fiasco. I'm sure you're a nice person, and you seem to deliver your lines with skill, so I'm not going to pick on you. I just find it cynical that someone plopped a pretty girl in a pink dress without any irony or purpose.


After a minor bit of Googling, I've learned this actress is named Carly Foulkes and she's also a bikini model.


Never mind, Carly. Carry on!