Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

A Mini Special Entry

 Both featuring dreams by yours truly:

Twitter is Crap

 Something tells me this isn't her legit official account.

The ProofrEADJer: End of September Edition

Infowars Presents More Conspiracy Stories That Only Their Dumb Listeners Will Believe

The brilliant writers and Alex Jones are working tirelessly to bring their viewers and listeners all the latest nutjob bullshit. Here are some stories they're working on:

• American Girl Place is run by Al Qaeda operatives who use dolls to indoctrinate American families with pro-multicultural, globalist propaganda

• McDonald's Grimace shakes were made from toxic runoff from Salvadorian plastic factories, the same factories that made your mom's sex toys

• Invisible, noiseless drones are responsible for making every tree shed leaves in America. The drones are all controlled by Zach Galifianakis in a bunker somewhere

• Car washes offer free pine tree air fresheners because they secretly have listening chips to monitor your drive-thru preferences to sell to marketers

• There used to be a letter in the alphabet between G and H but it was suppressed by the Korean-American community because it resembled their symbol for "control"

Can You Say Goodbye To Stuff? Let's Say Goodbye To Stuff Together!

Goodbye! Goodbye! So long! Goodbye! Goodbye!

The Rarest of Occurrences Caught On Camera

Spotted in Union, NJ: A Bank of America where all three teller windows are OPEN.

THIS IS NOT A PHOTOSHOP

Meanwhile, At the Gaslight Brewery & Restaurant...

"Okay, Mel, I'll see you later."

"Wait, where do you think you're going?"

"I just finished my shift, Dan. I'm clocking out."

"No, you said you'd work a double today, remember?"

"Uh, no Dan. I never said that."

"You did. Thursday, September 19, you said you'd work a double shift to make up for your absence on the 4th."

"No no no. I would've put that in the calendar weeks in advance. I have a..."

"You SAID you'd put it in the calendar, too, but I guess you forgot to. Still, you have to work this double since you promised. Better get those apps to tables 5 and 8."

"What is happening here? You're saying I verbally promised to work when I never do that? Then this calendar which clearly doesn't have me on after 6pm is wrong for the very first time?"

"Table 5 has the artichoke dip and 8 gets the chicken skewers. Chop chop."

(mutters) "This fucking place, man."

Well, That's Rude, Sirius XM

Kickstarter Projects That Failed To Meet Their Funding Goal

The following crowdfunding campaigns were the least successful this month:

• A high protein drink made exclusively of hangnails bitten off by nervous students

• A special edition "flip and fuck" for celibate people

• Specially angled square rigged sails that allow navigators of tall ships to FINALLY sail upwind at angles closer than 60 degrees

• Skateboards with sensors that warn you when cops, Karens or kids who can skate better than you are nearby

• The Gräfenberg spot cleaner

Spotted in An Art Gallery in South Orange

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Every so often, Netflix renews or cancels shows and movies based on an algorithm viewer preferences. Here now are all the shows that will be added to Netflix this month:

• I'm A Celebrity! Get Me Out of This Podcast!

• What We Do In the Shadows Is None of Your Business

• Blue Brother (Blue Bloods meets Big Brother)

• The View: Deathmatch

• Extreme Botched: The Headless

Here are the shows and movies that Netflix is removing from their lineup this month:

• Joe Rogan Sleeping

• The Bold and the Marginally Attractive

• America's Got Talent: Unamerican Edition

• Pawn De Replay

• Dahmer: Open To Dating Again

Spotted on LinkedIn

 A person's profile pic frame "OPEN BUT PICKY".

Her attempt to appear willing to work but still have some discriminating tastes is overshadowed by the phrase "BUTTPICKY".

"A Man Should Never Neglect His Pathmark For Business."

A Bumper Sticker Whoopsie

I was driving in Union, NJ and spotted what I thought was a bumper sticker featuring Subzero from Mortal Kombat.

But upon closer inspection at a stoplight, I saw it was a religious sticker and a dude with black hair and a black turtleneck. 

Whoopsie!

MORTAL ZION!!!!! doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

The ProofrEADJer: Early September Edition

C'mon, Let's Say Goodbye To Stuff That Advertisers Insist We Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! Bye-Bye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

Spotted at an AirBnb in Detroit

A dog butthole by Roberto Borboa

"Happiness Lies in the Joy of Achievement and the Thrill of Creative Pathmark."