Meanwhile, At the Gaslight Brewery & Restaurant...

"Okay, Mel, I'll see you later."

"Wait, where do you think you're going?"

"I just finished my shift, Dan. I'm clocking out."

"No, you said you'd work a double today, remember?"

"Uh, no Dan. I never said that."

"You did. Thursday, September 19, you said you'd work a double shift to make up for your absence on the 4th."

"No no no. I would've put that in the calendar weeks in advance. I have a..."

"You SAID you'd put it in the calendar, too, but I guess you forgot to. Still, you have to work this double since you promised. Better get those apps to tables 5 and 8."

"What is happening here? You're saying I verbally promised to work when I never do that? Then this calendar which clearly doesn't have me on after 6pm is wrong for the very first time?"

"Table 5 has the artichoke dip and 8 gets the chicken skewers. Chop chop."

(mutters) "This fucking place, man."

An Imagined Conversation

"Jiehong, we need a name for our restaurant."

"Okay, Chun. Something Chinese."

"How about something with dragons or pandas? Like Panda Hut?"

"Hmmm. I like it, but can it be more natural? Like outdoorsy?"

"Oh! How about a garden?"

"Yes! I like gardens! So, maybe Jade Garden? Or Dragon Garden?"

"Mmmm. Dragon Garden is a mouthful."

"Panda Garden?"

"That's weird. What's a panda doing in a garden?"

"What's a dragon doing in a garden?"

"Okay, fair... How about, Emerald Garden!"

"I like it! But it doesn't really speak to food."

"I think you're being too literal about this. It can be Jade or Emerald or Dynasty Garden or Ming Garden..."

"No, I got it! TOMATOES!"

Meanwhile, At the Gaslight Restaurant

"Hey Josie. What's up?"

"Hey Gerald. Just letting you know I'm taking next week off."

"What? You didn't notify me of time off. Especially since we have that wedding reception next Wednesday."

"No, I told you that I was taking the week off. Remember? I was in your office and submitted the letter and you checked the schedule and said okay."

"That doesn't sound right. I don't remember us discussing... oh, I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE."

"What are you talking about?"

"No, I see what your'e doing. Turning on the tables on me now, right? GASLIGHTING the manager for a week off..."

"Not at all, Gerald. I have a copy of my notification letter right here."

"Oh, SURE. You typed this up this morning and are pretending that somehow I had that time off conversation when I clearly don't..."

"What's that, again?"

"Oh, I see my copy is right here in the file. And I blocked off the week for you on the whiteboard. I guess we did have this conversation after all."

"Told you."

"Sorry about that."

"No problem. I'll see you in two weeks!"

"Sure, see you in... WAIT, THAT'S NOT MY HANDWRITING!"

Meanwhile, At the Gaslight Restaurant...

"Here's your check, folks! Thanks for coming!"

*Looks at check*

"Excuse me, miss?"

"Yes?"

"This seems to be another person's check. And it's for $673.44"

"No, that's the correct check. You're table 8."

"But I only ordered a salad for lunch. This check lists Ossobuco and a bottle of 1995 Chateau Pontet-Canet Pauillac for $480."

"Yes, I hope you enjoyed that Bordeaux. I told you it was full bodied and fruity!"

"But you didn't. And I didn't have any wine for lunch. This is all a mistake. Could I speak to your manager?"

"You already did. And you told her you would pay for your bill. You don't remember?"

"I did?"

"Yep. Will you be paying with Visa or Mastercard?"

"...Uh, Mastercard, I guess..."

Meanwhile, At the Gaslight Brewery & Restaurant...

"And here you go, folks– pardon my reach–  two triple chocolate brownies with French vanilla ice cream!"

"Yum!"

"Yes, this looks great, but he ordered this but I ordered the pineapple upside-down cheesecake."

"I wish you wouldn't do that, miss."

"Do what?"

"You're purposefully lying to confuse me."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Miss, you ordered the triple chocolate brownie with French vanilla ice cream right after your friend here ordered the triple chocolate brownie with French vanilla ice cream. I distinctly remember it because I wrote it down here on my pad!"

"But I didn't..."

"Honey, if the waitress wrote it down on her pad, then you must have said it. Mmm, this is delicious!"

"Yes. YOU ordered the triple chocolate brownie with French vanilla ice cream. You never ordered the pineapple upside-down cheesecake because I never wrote down 'pineapple upside-down cheesecake' on my pad."

"But... but... maybe you wrote it down wrong?"

"Here's your check. After you pay and give me a sizable tip, I want you folks to promptly leave. Good evening."

Meanwhile, At the Gaslight Restaurant...

"What are your specials today?"

"We have an ahi tuna poke with red onions, peppers, cucumbers and cilantro tossed in a Hawaiian poke sauce, and we also have a smoked gouda, cheddar jack, and cavatappi pasta with breadcrumb topping and parsley, topped with braised chicken with endive."

"That sounds good."

"Which one?"

"The steak."

"I didn't mention steak. That's not one of our specials."

"You said filet of ribeye Wagyu steak for $5. I ordered mine rare."

"Huh? I never..."

"OFF YOU GO! Thanks so much! We're ready for our drinks, too."

Meanwhile, at the Gaslight Restaurant...

"Good evening, folks. I'm Gerald, and I'll be your server tonight. Will that be all?"

"Haha. What?"

"Will be there anything else? Or are you ready for the check now?"

"Uh, we haven't ordered yet..."

"Great! (tears bill off of pad) I'll just get that when you're ready. You guys have a good night, okay?"

(reads bill) "$400 for champagne? And it's not even the good stuff."

Meanwhile, At the Gaslight...

"Okay, I'm taking off, Don."

"What? You just got here."

"No, I didn't. I'm clocking out. I've been working since 10am."

"That's not what it says on your timecard, Nathan."

"Yes, it does. Here, this is when I... What are you doing?"

"I ripped it up because the time was logged wrong. When you log your time in wrong, you get penalized, like we discussed before. Now punch in with a new card and get to work– you're doing a double shift."

"Wha..."

"No more talking. You're already working half wages for logging your time in wrong. Now GET TO WORK, NATHAN."

Meanwhile, Back at the Gaslight...

"Excuse me, miss?"

"Yes?"

"How much longer will our food take?"

"Only another five minutes."

"I'm sorry, but you said that ten minutes ago."

"No I didn't."

"Yes, we asked you about our food at 12:10 and you said..."

"Oh, so you're spying on me mow?"

"What?"

"You can't respect my privacy and are just watching me and keeping tabs on me and totally violating my rights to privacy. This is really low of you."

"I don't understand. I just wanted..."

"Oh you just WANTED. See, you're using that language again. WANT WANT WANT. It's always about you and what YOU want. You're so selfish."

"Huh? Are you serious?"

"Look. I've had a really bad day, and you're not helping by being so DEMANDING and PESTERING me constantly with all your NEEDINESS. I'm about at my breaking point and I swear to God, if you keep RIDING me about your food I'm going to... Oh. Here's your food now. Enjoy!"

Meanwhile, Back At The Gaslight...

"Hello."

"Hello."

"I'm the Health Inspector from City Hall. Are you Roger Galloway, owner of this establishment?"

"No."

Meanwhile, Back At The Gaslight...

"Excuse me, sir."

"Yes?"

"I just got the bill, and it's $230 for a Coke and a tuna melt sandwich?"

"No, you ordered way more than that."

"I'm quite sure I did not."

"Yes you did. You ordered the grilled rib chop, the marinated lamb skewer, the steamed Maine mussels, the rotisserie cauliflower, the field greens with red and yellow tomatoes with crumbled feta and a roasted garlic dressing and the fruit gazpacho with watermelon, blueberries and strawberries."

"What?! This is outrageous!!!! I did nothing of the kind! It's just me and I ate a small lunch for 15 minutes!"

"You've been here for 23 minutes, ma'am, and you did manage to put it all away somehow. If you would like to see the dessert menu, I can always add that to the bill."

"... (sigh) Fine. I'll take a look."

Meanwhile, Back At the Gaslight

"Excuse me, sir."

"Yes?"

"We're ready to order now."

"You already ordered, and you ordered the salads."

"No, we didn't. We've been sitting here for 10 minutes and you never took our order."

"Where did you get a crazy idea like that? I took your order, lady."

"No, I think somehow you're mistaken..."

*SIGH* "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? You ordered the salad but now have second thoughts so you accuse me of never having taken your order. You just can't be straight with me and admit what you're doing."

"We ordered the salad?"

"YES! See? I told you you ordered the salad! Now did you still want dressing on the side like you said or are you going to flake out on me and change that shit, too?"

Meanwhile, Back At the Gaslight...

"Thanks for coming today. Here's your check."

"What? Miss, I just paid my check a moment ago."

“I do not know what you are talking about. You are just trying to confuse me.”

"No, I gave you my Visa card. You still have it."

"Are you sure? You probably have a bad memory, being old and all."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Look, I'm very busy today and don't have the time to argue. So just give me a twenty and we'll forget about your embarrassing behavior."

"Will you take two 10's?"

Meanwhile, At The Gaslight Restaurant...

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Yes?"

"I ordered the fish fritters, but you brought me the chicken strips."

"No, you ordered the chicken strips."

"Um, no. I remember ordering the fish fritters. Because I wanted to try it."

"Where'd you get a crazy idea like that? I wrote down 'chicken strips' when you ordered it. Why are you making things up now?"

"Excuse me?"

"Look, I'm very busy here. I have lots of other tables to wait on, so don't be so selfish and try to lie about ordering fish fritters when it's OBVIOUS you ordered the chicken strips, for Christ's sake. You ORDERED THE CHICKEN STRIPS, OKAY?"

"Uh, okay."

"Enjoy your meal!"