EADJ Doordasher Photography Critique

Note: This is more an Amazon photography critique than a DoorDash one.

"Socks Delivery" by Randall at Amazon

Finally, a delivery driver with an eye for composition! This stunning entry puts less focus on the delivered package, opening the visual field to let the eye take in more of the surroundings.

And what surroundings it is! The sharp lower angle allows the spindles of the front steps bannister to frame the package, and the vanishing point lines are supplemented with the greenery and the dappled shadows.

Overall grade: A++++

Well done, Randall. I hope the socks fit!

The Rarest of Occurrences Caught On Camera

Spotted in Union, NJ: A Bank of America where all three teller windows are OPEN.

THIS IS NOT A PHOTOSHOP

EADJ Surprising Hostility: Santander Bank

A new corporate bank has taken root in different parts of New York City, and it's a great time for EADJ to hate them off the bat. Santander Bank. Fuck them. Why?

Because nothing instills confidence like a cheap vinyl banner stuck over the previous bank's name. Really tells people you're in it for the long haul. Better deposit my life savings with the bank that's living out of a suitcase in case the Feds come.

The logo either looks like a plate on fire or a baby chick doing the "Thriller" dance (turn it on its side). Plus it's red and white with the word "Santa" on it. Nice borrowed interest, assholes (yes, that is a bank pun). 

So go fuck your tellers' mothers, Santander Bank. Maybe one day you too will go under and will end up as umbrella signage on a fruit cart out front. FUCK YOU

It Was A Dark And Stormy Pathmark

This one submitted by Andrew Gall:

CRACK OF THUNDER SOUND EFFECT!!!!

Once You Go Racist Appliances, You Never Go Back

So, How Did "Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas" Do?

Well, it fell somewhere between Sally Field in "Maybe I'll Come Home In The Spring" and the animated "Happy, The Littlest Bunny." So, suffice to say "Bickford Shmeckler's Cool Ideas" sucked more dick than the VD cautionary tale "Intimate Agony" but didn't blow as much ass as unfunny urban romp "Da Station."

Are we all clear now?