We're going to try something new today: "Imagined Backstory", where we find something out in the world and meticulously and meaninglessly create lore behind it.
Today we have a sign hanging on the shopping cart corral at the local Lowe's:
Who are these people? What's their story? Well, obviously, it's Nicole and Brandon from two towns over. You met them a few months ago at the East Orange Farmer's Market at their homemade honey tent, remember? Nicole sold you a jar of their "Raw Tupelo Honey" and invited you to a barbecue they were throwing after their boys were finished with baseball playoffs, and you ACCEPTED and gave them your number. So now Nicole has been texting and calling you for days wondering if you were going to make it Saturday and also bring your roommates although you don't remember mentioning them. Brandon has been gotten really good at smoking baby back ribs and of course WITH HONEY, LOL. Also, the barbecue is cocktail casual, so wear whatever, but know that the mayor is coming! Why won't you pick up?
(Tragically, they also resemble Lauren Boebert and Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio.)
