Kickstarter Projects That Failed To Meet Their Funding Goal

The following crowdfunding campaigns were the least successful this month:

• A high protein drink made exclusively of hangnails bitten off by nervous students

• A special edition "flip and fuck" for celibate people

• Specially angled square rigged sails that allow navigators of tall ships to FINALLY sail upwind at angles closer than 60 degrees

• Skateboards with sensors that warn you when cops, Karens or kids who can skate better than you are nearby

• The Gräfenberg spot cleaner

UAG

The ProofrEADJer: January Pre-Oscar Edition

And this one submitted by Andrew Gall:

An Open Letter To The Real Scott Peterson

Hi Scott


How are you. I am fine. Just wanted you to know about a disturbing email I received this afternoon. It appears that there's someone online who is trying to use your good name to make a living as a still life photographer. Just thought you should know that they are trying to profit by impersonating you, Scott Peterson.

I do realize that you're a filmmaker, and although you work with cameras and have a good eye for shots, this probably isn't you. I suggest you lawyer up and take this "Wetter, Thirstier Version Of Scott Peterson" for everything he is. This is a big world, yet it's very, very unlikely that there are any other people by the unique name of Scott Peterson out there.

Love,

EADJ