An Imagined Conversation

"Jake, Nathan, put your shoes on."

"Yay! Are we going to go play pickleball?"

"No, you're going with me to a photoshoot."

"But we don't want to be models like you, Dad!"

"I want to be an MMA fighter!"

"Just this once, boys. I got a callback for a lifestyle shoot for CVS."

"Aw man."

"No, Nathan. It's gonna be fun. All we have to be is the adult son and the two grandkids of the main model, who's receiving their CVS prescription."

"So we just stand there?"

"Yeah. To show that we're supportive family members when our elders need us. Like how I need you two to come along with me on this shoot instead of wasting time at the pickleball court."

"Aw man."

Upcoming InfoWars Conspiracy Theories

Alex Jones's famous stable of unstable writers continue to crank out a remarkable volume of batshit conspiracy theories for him to pollute the airwaves with. Here now are stories that they plan to excrete:

• Nancy Pelosi is actually a Halloween skeleton in a wig remote controlled by George Soros.

• Harvey Weinstein was framed. All those women stormed his shower to gaze at him when he left his hotel room unlocked.

• Covid was originally a Mr. Beast prank that grew out of control

• The American Cancer Society actually injected cancer INTO bottles of Roundup weed killer, turning it into a carcinogen

• There were 16 more seasons of "The X-Files" filmed, but the government got the show canceled after episode plots came too close to reality, especially the lizard people storyline.

Gutter Frog Was Vomiting

Gutter Frog was vomiting.

Drain Trio was shocked.

Mom's Meals Truck was happy about it

Car Door Hardware was nervous about it all.

(Submitted by Emily Kane)

And Crab Pretzels were disgusted that they even exist.

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig