The ProofrEADJer: Mid-May Edition

This Week In Chicago Whatever

 The following are plot summaries from this week's episodes:

Chicago P.D.

Sergeant Wilford finally finds his service weapon in a beanbag chair. The openly homophobic coffee vendor meets his match with Dylan and Gordy. Special appearance by Janeane Garofalo as police brutality protestor Bella Valimus.

Chicago Med

A coma patient wakes up and can only speak in Portuguese. Three med students agree to a polyamorous relationship. Dr. Galloway thinks his new mirror sunglasses look pretty fly.

Chicago Fire

A high school conducts a fire drill that turns into a real fire, which confuses the fire department. Driver Engineer Kevin challenges the younger EMS crew to a dance-off. Dispatcher Sophie shows off her knowledge of Emily Bronte poetry.

Some Hollywood Movie Ideas Based on Glitter Tattoo Names

A declining box office has forced Hollywood's major studios to scramble for the next big blockbuster franchise. But since almost every novel, comic book, original script, adapted script and short story idea has already been turned into a movie, the next place to look for ideas is from Glitter Tattoo names from a gumball machine in a Pump It Up trampoline park in Roselle Park, New Jersey.

Here now are all the script ideas already in development with the names attached to the projects:

"Crowned Heart" starring George Clooney, Aldis Hodge and Karen Gillan

Two pediatricians (Clooney and Hodge) help an exceptional child with a chronic illness find his voice and inspire his entire school. Karen Gillan plays the aggrieved mother.

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"Flying Dragon" starring Simu Liu, Ali Wong and Alex Winter

Two karaoke singers (Liu and Winter) are mistaken for Chinese gangsters and need to find the real culprits to clear their name within 24 hours. Also starring Clancy Brown as Police Sergeant Mudworth.

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"Dancing Dolphins" directed by Mira Sorvino. Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Minoso, Sophia Bush, and Paula Patton

This script is still being developed under tight wraps. but all we know so far is that it's being filmed in Florida and Weta Workshop is developing the special fx. Lizzo, P!nk and Sam Smith are recording the soundtrack.

 

The EADJ Facebook Defender

Previous EADJ Facebook Defriender entries here.

It's time once again to cut the Facebook chaff from the Facebook wheat. I have more FB friends that I care to stay in touch with anyway. So it was easy to cut S_____ loose from my digital life.

He's actually a nice guy and all, but I haven't seen him since 2007 and he's in London now.

One of the main reasons I'm cutting him loose is because his posts are insufferable. He fancies himself a photographer with his cell phone shots.

And to be fair, he does have some talent, but he just posts this shit ALL THE TIME and he documents the place and time like anyone gives a shit. "Oh, that's what a coffee looks like in Barcelona at 2am? Gee!" 

So, goodbye S_______. I won't miss your constant photography exhibit.

"I Think Donald Just Criticized Me For Preparing For This Debate. And Yes, I Did. You Know What Else I Prepared For? I Prepared To Be Pathmark."