The ProofrEADJer: End of August Edition

Imagine Me and You, I Do, I Think About You Day and Night, It's Only Right, To Think About The Girl You Love, and Hold Her Tight, So Racist Appliances

This Week of EADJ Was Brought To You With Limited Commercial Interruption By Yunker CoQ10 Supplement

"Hey, you're not getting any Yunker."

So, A New Development

I got a text from Andrew this morning:

------

Forwarded email
From: mxxxxbxxxx@xxxx.net

Date: Mon, Sep 17, 2012 at 8:44 AM

Subject: Yum yum

To: 

What are the next steps for Andrew? Write back to explain the mistaken identity? Or send back a photo of his pubes? 

"i kind of want to let it ride and see what happens" Andrew wrote.

Stay tuned for the latest in this developing story.

UAG

Spotted in Chinatown

A shirt I can't tell is ironic or not.


"DO NOT NIEECH"

Ew.

Pictured above, an ad for herpes.

The Worst of All Possible Outcomes

Spotted today at the front entrance of the Old Bridge Deli, the beloved Rolly Wrap machine is slated for removal.



Here to commemorate the passing of a beloved foodstuff, a poem by e. e. cummings, slightly altered for this entry:

i carry your rolly wrap with me


i carry your rolly wrap with me(i carry it in
my stomach)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no bread(for you are my bread,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever that guy with the mustache and dirty apron has always meant
and whatever an oven will always bake is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the menu that offers roni, cheesy, super, munch roll, or veggi

i carry your rolly wrap(i carry it in my stomach)


e. e. cummings

Yet Another Reason To Hate "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls

It crashed my @#$% iTunes.

Let's Tell the EADJ Mail Sack We Don't Have a Cigarette When In Fact We Really Do!

Submitted by Andrew Gall a week late for Graffiti Week, some graffiti:

Starting to get on my nerves.

So my phone says I have six messages, all from Sergio:

Then when I click the link, it's this crap:


It's indiscriminate forwarding like this that's starting to turn Facebook into Myspace. Thanks, Sergio.

Don't Look Now, But...

What the? How did this happen? Some possible theories:

Marshall at age 29 creates a time machine and travels 30 years into the future, so he can finally dine at the 5th Avenue Diner in Brooklyn.

Marshall was so smitten by Jeanette's handling of RFP's at Cramer-Krasselt that he is stalking her, trying to woo her back to his agency. Also, he donned a Davy Crockett coonskin cap.

Ever see Sam Shepard's "Fool For Love" with Harry Dean Stanton as a bigamist who has another wife in another town? Like that, but with a coonskin cap.

Marshall, a big swinger in the seventies, slept with Marsha Touhy while visiting New York. Marsha Touhy decided to keep the baby and raise him to be everything his hippie father was not: a more upstanding, more responsible human being. Also, she buys him a coonskin cap.

That's probably some young guy who resembles Marshall a lot but doesn't have any real connection to him in any way. But what fun is that.

Scientists in Finland have successfully cloned a Marshall Ross. They have uploaded the new clone with the latest fighting techniques, a chip in the brain that stores terabytes of defense secrets, a coonskin cap, and a bionic leg that can kick a hole in a trash can. But they have not taught the clone how to love...Clone of Love, starring Sandra Bullock and Jeremy Piven as Marshall.


Do you have any theories?