The ProofrEADJer: Early March Edition Part II

"BACKY ARD"

"Bussines Center:"

If You Love Something, Set It Free. And If It Comes Back...

So this is fun. You might remember the EADJ Crappinema where I reviewed the Blockbuster Video exclusive movie "Ten Inch Hero" and snuck it back into a Blockbuster after watching.

Well, because of Obamacare and the socialist uprising (sarcasm), many Blockbuster locations are closing, including the one in Jersey where I dumped that DVD.


They're selling everything at Blockbuster from DVDs to the shelves to that one counter where the clerk would tell you your rented DVD would be waiting for you since they didn't trust you to carry it out the store yourself because you're probably a filthy thief but look who's laughing now since you're going out of business bitches LOL.




Most of the good movies were sold already, which pretty much left the dregs.


But what's this?!


Holy shit! It's "Ten Inch Hero!" And since there was no copy of it before I snuck it back in the store, I can only assume that this is the VERY SAME COPY I had before. And now I can buy it back for $1.99 for no reason! Yaaay!

The Concerned Hot Dog Vendor

Hello? Yes, I've been on hold for 10 minutes already. This is the AMC Loews Lincoln Square Theatre, yes? Good.

Yes, I have a question about a new release movie that I believe is playing at your theatre. It's called "Paranormal Activity." I've read in a few movie blogs that the movie is genuinely frightening, and I was calling to just clarify that if I see the movie, it won't give me a heart attack or nuthin'.

No, I don't have a history of heart problems, although I do serve a lot of food that could be considered high in fat. You know, sausage, hot dogs, beef patties... yes, I serve the beef patties with bread... sure, you can make a sandwich with it... But my question is whether I will die from watching this scary movie.

Well, you say that no one has died at your theatre yet, but it is a new release, so maybe the person who will die from watching that movie hasn't shown up yet. I'm just saying, statistically speaking, that if this movie is as scary as I've heard (and I've heard it's excellent; it scored an 86% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes), then I possibly have reason to be concerned about cardiac arrest.

"Call my doctor?!" Look, I'm calling you! I don't have a lot of minutes on my cell phone plan, so I just need you to tell me what are the health dangers in seeing this movie, and if you validate parking. Also, do you let hot dog carts in the parking deck...hello? Hello?

Some People Wait All Their Lives To Have This In Their In Box:

More on the message's contents later.

Curlz Just Wanna Have Font

PROJECT ROSTER: We took a peek in Joel's itinerary to get a sense of what projects Joel has in the running for this week:

• Eat the dick of Xi Shun, the world's tallest man, so that I can stand up for once.

• Screenplay for Hallmark original movie "Chance Meeting in the Cat Toy Aisle."

• Trim that bush

• TV adaptation for "Spider-Man, the All-Black Wearing, Whiney Emo Phase."

• Lunch with Joe Eszterhas at Women's Symposium

• Eat Daniel Baldwin's dick to MAKE THE COLLECTION COMPLETE

• Toss that "King of Queens" script that will never get produced now, dammit

• Carb up for that big non-carb diet

• Start writing that biopic about Rachael Ray starring Rachael Ray as a thinner Rachael Ray

(pictured above, J'Net discovers another café that uses CURLZ!!!!!)