Trouble At Target

Spotted at Target, somebody punched a poster of an infant in the crotch.

Kristine Johnson's Crotch Is Prime Real Estate

CBS 2 News apparently considers Kristine Johnson's netherparts suitable to project some branding as well as some handy info.

All I know is that it's 82º down there. Heyooooo!

Meanwhile, Maurice DuBois (it means "of wood") has leased advertising space on his ass to local restaurant Fernandez Steakhouse.

And in surprising unrelated news, correspondent Alice Gainer apparently has appeared in the Jeremy Renner movie "The Bourne Legacy." Hoonoo.

EADJ Etiquette Center with Lauren Fontinel

The following is a photo on the El taken by Lauren F.


Rule #1: Close your legs.


Lauren earns 50 points for the panty hose crotch shot. Congratulations, Team Blondie!

EXCLUSIVE OUTTAKES!

The following are exclusive outtakes from Andrew Gall's attempts at a Jerald Tribute photo:





It must be noted that Andrew attempted to take these photos on his own and stopped attempting once he had broken a candle holder in the process. Luckily, his newly-arrived fiancée Megan will be available to take one soon.

BONUS BONUS:

Through the miracle of computers, we have created a composite from the separate photos to bring you a "superphoto" of Andrew's cumulative attempts!

Fan Belt

(pictured above, kind of hard to tell, but John Reid shows off his new "F" belt buckle)

Oh Joel.

One thing you should know about Joel other than the fact that he adores gobbling cock: he is a fastidious dresser.

Joel ordered his chimp servant Chad Yarborough to press his wool pants this morning, which it did but left a tiny crease near the left cuff. Joel scolded it harshly and told him to try it again. Also, to hurry up– Joel had a meeting with Carmen Electra at Ritz Camera in an hour. Why was Carmen Electra slumming at Ritz Camera? You ask her.

The chimp servant had abandoned the pants press in the walk-in closet and tried the steamer instead. But Joel doesn't like steam drops on his wool pants, so he told the chimp servant to go back to trying the iron. What a dick.

After a fourth try on Joel's pants, the chimp servant was successful, and Joel was satisfied.

Once Joel was on his way, the chimp servant pulled out his opium pipe and turned on his Tivo'd "Family Feud."

(pictured above, Tara starts to show signs of stress and takes cover under a box)

What Dave Levy Lev'd Behind, Part 3

Joanne reads a very special missive.