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"Why Aren't People Watching Network TV Anymore?"

I dunno. Maybe because they don't want to see the 5th reboot of a show they watched 30 years ago?

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Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

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Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Due to contract changes, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Netflix this week:

• Hard Teachers

• Peter Kriss's Makeup Tutorials

• Slapping Fat Dudes: The Series

• Finding A Public Bathroom in Brooklyn

• Separation Anxiety: The Laundry Game Show

• Server Transfer Emergencies

• Nothing: The Bible Prequel

• Is This Salt?

The following movies and TV shows will be added to Netflix this week:

• Titpuncher

• Gory Manicure Stories

• Labelmaker Wars

• Stanisław Szukalski: The Erotic Stories

• Nude Male Bookmarks

• French Onion Soup: The Criterion Edition

• Moon Unit Zappa Reflects On Aging and Mortality

• The Kool-Aid Nighttime Mysteries, Rated M

• Faces Of Death Babies

• Shiva and Shivs: Hindus in Prison

• Yelling At Cheese

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This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

"The hole in the hat is for whenever my bra gets delivered."

Turns out businessmen from Nebraska do mind if they somehow end up on the cover of your mixtape after getting wasted in Reno with you and your crew.

A class action lawsuit against Stridex was filed later that week.

I don't get it. "Brain dump?"

Ladies and gentlemen, the Tomi Lahren of hip hop.

I've got nothing comical or mean to say about this. I'm happy for her? Pass.

They guys couldn't understand what was taking the girls so long to show up.

MF Doom is still somehow doing it. (It is still him, right?)

Some "2 Broke Girls" Episode Summaries, Now With "Enhanced" Endings

If you've ever read this blog before, you know how much we love the CBS smash hit television show "2 Broke Girls." We love it so much, in fact, that we've decided to expand on the basic two-sentence summaries found on most "2BG" episode guides to give you a more comprehensive look into these timeless entries into broadcast history. Enjoy!

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Ad Of The Day

So. Many. Questions.

Thank Heaven For Little Racist Appliances

Not Helpful

Pictured below, a lost remote makes for some fucking annoying viewing.

Cack.

Pictured above, what happens when the best part of "Fringe" comes on, and Agent Dunham is in trouble again, you're really into it, not realizing you can pause the DVR and attend to whatever is starting to smell like burnt peas and carrots.

TV's Cancer

Newton Minow once referred to a day of watching television as "a vast wasteland" to the National Association of Broadcasters in 1961. Even then, he had no idea how far TV had to fall.


Here's a tiny sampling of how bad TV has curdled:

The Discovery Channel
Then: Documentaries on science, technology, and history
Today: Reality shows (Dirty Jobs, Mythbusters, American Chopper)

MTV
Then: Tons of music videos, Mark Goodman rambling, Martha Quinn looking adorable
Today: Reality shows (The Hills, My Super Sweet 16, Paris Hilton's My New BFF)

The Learning Channel
Then: The Learning Channel: "A Place for Learning Minds" Documentaries on nature, cooking, and home improvement
Today: Now TLC:"Life Unscripted" Reality shows (Junkyard Wars, What Not To Wear, Jon & Kate Plus Shoot Me in the Fucking Face With a Shotgun)

I'm anxiously waiting for reality shows to die forever. Because I can't justify buying a widescreen TV just to watch banal repetitive shit like this (feel free not to watch the whole thing):



Purgatory is full of reality stars, all milling about and not making friends. And definitely not reading.

*EDITOR'S NOTE: I realize "National Lampoon's European Vacation" is not a reality show. It just fits in with the theme of TV going to hell.

The Funniest Thing On TV This Week (And That Includes 2 and a Half Men)

Yesterday, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich skipped his impeachment trial in the Illinois Senate, opting instead to go to New York to appear on "Good Morning America," "Larry King Live," and "The View" to announce his innocence against allegations of corruption. Talk shows were very eager to have the embattled governor appear on their shows. Barbara Walters was in L.A. but didn't want to miss the opportunity to interview him herself, so the producers created a set up so that she could conduct a "face to face" interview via satellite. It looked like this:



So let me get this straight. Rod Blagojevich disses the members of the Illinois Senate reviewing FBI wiretaps from an ongoing criminal investigation of him so that he could be interviewed by a plasma TV behind a plant? HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH HAHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH HHHAHAHAH HA HAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHA HAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH HHAHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH HAHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH HAHAHAHHA HAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHHHHHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHHHHA HAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHHHH

AHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH HAHAHAH HAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH HAHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH

(takes drink of water)

Mmmm. HAHAHHAHAHH HAHAH HAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH

HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHHHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHH AHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHHHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHHAHAHH AHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHHAHAHAHA HHAHAHAHAHHAH