Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Jan 1, 2018 Edition

Here's a sampling of the least used hashtags on New Year's Eve, 2018:

#bringback2016

#TimesSquareisthebest

#strawberryassholes2018

#neverlikedTomPettyanyway

#JennyMcCarthycomedygenius

#thiswillbetheDetroitTigersyear

#morerepublicansincongress2018

#JesuspleasewatchoverDonaldTrump

#myresolutionistogetoffFacebookandmakeadifferencebyactuallydoingsomething

Happy Thanksgiving From EADJ!

Eat A Dick Joel would like to wish you and whoever you're shacking up with a happy, healthy, and hearty Thanksgiving. Except you Trump supporters. Fuck all y'all.

The ProofrEADJer: Almost Back To School Edition

The Palpable Desperation of Safeway Brand Breakfast Cereals

"Hey, I'm a magical creature, too! And look, I've got orange triangles, purple moons, green wedges, yellow...uh...semicircles? Hey, where are you going?"

"I too am a jungle creature, but look at me using my TONGUE instead of my NOSE to find these Silly Circles (No, they're not supposed to be flies; don't be sick)!"

"Hey, you nearsighted grandpa, reach for me over here! That's it! Don't look too closely!"

"Hey, did you know? The expensive cartoon character FLINTSTONE evolved from green generic monkeys like me! And pebbles came from nuggets! It's true! Ask the Smithsonian!"

"Yarrr! Nautical theme over here! I'm not in the military but lookit all these crazy tentacles, son! Don't cry, this cereal is just as good as when your Dad had a job! :("

"I give up."

It's Casserole Clip-Art Season Again!

Mere days after Halloween, it is time once again to break out the casserole clipart in anticipation of the next holiday.

Casserole clipart is good for Thanksgiving invitations, Thanksgiving memos, Thanksgiving shopping list designs and other Thanksgiving related ephemera.

But not all casserole clipart is the same.

Some casserole clip art is better than other casserole clipart.

Lots of casserole clipart is in color, whereas there are some that are simply in black and white.

Some casserole clipart is so beautiful you could stick your dick in it.

Some casserole clipart is so hideous you could have it tuck its dick behind your balls.

Some casserole clipart is so clean and simple, you could feel ashamed for letting another casserole clipart do something like tuck its dick behind your balls.

Some casserole clipart doesn't show a casserole at all.

Some casserole clipart needs to be forgotten. Like that time that other casserole clipart… never mind.

ENJOY USING AND SHARING YOUR CASSEROLE CLIPART THIS MONTH!

And Now, A Public Service Message

"Hi. This is the voice of Alyssa Milano, star of 'Who's The Boss' and several hundred Maxim spreads in the 90s. I wanted to share with you some troubling news about one of our favorite snack foods, Animal Crackers and the way they are currently being abused by the nation's largest cookie manufacturers."

"Did you know that all four of the big cookie producers subject their Animal Crackers to degrading, unfathomable cruelty by forcing hundreds of them to cram into a cheap plastic container rather than a much roomier and classier cardboard-box-that-looks-like-a-circus-train-car? It's true."

"Much worse, did you know that almost 30% of all Animal Crackers end up being completely unrecognizable either through shoddy baking or unsafe packaging? 'Is that supposed to be a hippo or a cat?' Who knows? Who cares? I care."

"Please, for only $4500 a week, you can make sure that Animal Crackers such as these have enriched, happy lives before being mercilessly gobbled by a four-year old."

"I'm Alyssa Milano. And you can stand with me for this worthy cause. I mean, what else do you or I have to do this week? I'll pick you up at four."

♪ In the arms of the angels… ♫ 

A Very Happy Thanksgiving 2011 From EADJ

Once again, we at EADJ wish you and your one friend a happy and healthy Thanksgiving weekend. And like every single weekday since December 2, 2006, we still post something for scores of our readers to enjoy, even on holidays.

Here's an IM convo with Tom Weingard:



Here's a photo of Jay Cohen doing "research" on social media websites:



And here's some clipart of a turkey who doesn't understand what's about to go down:




Don't overeat, you fuckers!

A Thanksgiving Greeting From Cement Bird

Cement Bird, as some of you might remember, can only communicate through shitty FWD emails.


Please note: forwarded message attached

From: Helen Safre
To: undisclosed recipients: ;
Subject: Jesus Laughing :) This is really good!
Date: Mon, 26 Jul 2010 14:46:50 -0700 (PDT)
___________________________________________________________
Obama Urges Homeowners to Refinance
If you owe under $729k you probably qualify for Obama's Refi Program
SeeRefinanceRates.com





Thanks, Cement Bird! You have a good Thanksgiving, too!

Holidays: Then And Now

Click to enlarge

Happy Thanksgiving From EADJ!

Since December 2006, EADJ has consistently -and without fail- posted an entry every weekday, including holidays. Today is no exception.

EADJ wishes you, yours, and yours' yourses a rejoiceful and thankful Thanksgiving holiday or whatever. It is now that EADJ would like to list a few things for which we are thankful:

• The Kinks
• Good times
• Wilona from "Good Times"
• The cleanliness of Montreal
• Family
• Joy buzzers
• Jello molds
• Short skirts
• Taking big dukes
• Todd Crisman
• Styrofoam (also known as polystyrene in the UK)
• Freestyle snowboarding
• Having never been uppercut
• Cymbals
• Samosas
• Fake fur
• The buddy system
• XBox Live
• Scalawags
• Having never been asked to propose a toast
• Pussy
• "Delta Dawn" by Tanya Tucker
• Classy seafood restaurants
• The fact that the wife doesn't like decorating with sand dollars
• The fact that there are other channels when SNL is on
• Nougat
• The Iowa Highway Patrol
• Lip balm
• J.J. Abrams
• Titty bars
• Not having heard marijuana being referred to as "ganja" in a long time
• Skin moisturizer
• Car bingo

Happy Thanksgiving From EADJ!

(pictured above, the kitchen on 23 at Toucan Cleric's Fun after 2 girls from PR swooped by)

Hey Joel / Where You Going With That Dick In Your Hand

Joel once released a box set of journals of his dick-eating escapades. In them, he documented his musings and theories of why he loves dining on penis so much. He even included some pencil sketches of his more memorable meals.

Unfortunately, the price of the journals ($429.99 each) was cost prohibitive to his dozen fans, and Joel never made a dime. What's worse, Joel has yet to pay the $5159.88 Discover Card bill that he has from that trip to Kinko's. Boingggg!

Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling uses rolls of $1000 bills as tampons.

(pictured above, Jeanette's maternal instinct misguides her to the doggie dress section at Target)

Words take flight through performance.

****READER CHALLENGE**** Ten bucks to whoever can recite this thing by memory.