UAG, or "Sometimes, You Just Don't Have Time For A Quality Blog Entry"

Hey Joel / Where You Going With That Dick In Your Hand

Joel once released a box set of journals of his dick-eating escapades. In them, he documented his musings and theories of why he loves dining on penis so much. He even included some pencil sketches of his more memorable meals.

Unfortunately, the price of the journals ($429.99 each) was cost prohibitive to his dozen fans, and Joel never made a dime. What's worse, Joel has yet to pay the $5159.88 Discover Card bill that he has from that trip to Kinko's. Boingggg!

Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling uses rolls of $1000 bills as tampons.

(pictured above, Jeanette's maternal instinct misguides her to the doggie dress section at Target)