Jesus, Temu. Are You Okay?

I don't even know where to begin. The bizarre A.I. Pixar woman. The multiple penis plushies. The fact that six of them is listed as "1pc".

Hard pass.

It's Time Once Again To Say Goodbye To All The Shit That Advertisers Want You To Say Goodbye To

 

Goodbye! Goodbye! Bye bye! Goodbye! Good-Bye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

Now Let's Say Goodbye To All The Crap That Advertisers Want Us To Say Goodbye To!

 

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! 

Here Are Your Job Numbers For November 18, 2019

Howdy office 2972 Corporate Drive! It's Wally, your humble beverage vendor here to refill the soda machine and water cooler in the break room AND to deliver this week's set of job numbers for your timesheets. Do remember to complete your hours by the end of the week, or else you don't get paid (but I will, because I have a contract with the building!). Anyways, here are the digits:

35595: Bait & switch

49141: Slap & tickle

03965: Rattle & hum

39002: Analyzing the Wonder Woman trailer more than you should

57657: Hiring the shitty backup babysitter

91001: Covering your nipples with Thin Mints

71321: Farting in your ceremonial robes

88421: Explaining to millennials who Kyle Minogue was

52121: Wearing the shit out of your mouse's scroll wheel

37823: Blaming your illegal behavior on the Mentos you just ate

60152: Defending "Suicide Squad" against your better judgment

83127: Claiming unreclaimed wood is reclaimed

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Jan 1, 2018 Edition

Here's a sampling of the least used hashtags on New Year's Eve, 2018:

#bringback2016

#TimesSquareisthebest

#strawberryassholes2018

#neverlikedTomPettyanyway

#JennyMcCarthycomedygenius

#thiswillbetheDetroitTigersyear

#morerepublicansincongress2018

#JesuspleasewatchoverDonaldTrump

#myresolutionistogetoffFacebookandmakeadifferencebyactuallydoingsomething

AWESOME YouTube Comment O' the Fortnight

Found on a YouTube page featuring the "Penistron," wherein a Japanese inventor displays the "perfect mechanical vagina," a comment by filmchild:


5 Words:

Accidentally. Rip. Your. Dick. Off.

This Week In "Mentally Draw A Penis Here"

(Submitted by Joel HIMSELF:)



Or print this page out and draw a penis for real. Like I give a shit.

Follow-Up To a Previous Entry

In a November EADJ post, Jessica had reported some missing Morning Star Chick Patties. She writes today via IM:

"guess what, i never lost them, ythey were in the freezer the whole time!"

DULL PENCIL 2008, y'all!

Apple's iPhone gets some competition.