"Reality is Wrong. Dreams Are For Pathmark."

Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Seen - Mostly Smut Edition

"Aha fools! I have just turned your virginal young lady friend into a sex-starved... wait a minute. You already had a lower back tattoo? WTF?"

"No no no no no no no, I'm not in a bad knockoff movie. I'm not in a bad knockoff movie..."

"This is the sexiest episode of Animorphs EVER!"

"Miss Trouble? You... you got something on your shirt. Right there."

"Okay, okay! JEEZ." *reaches for a second dollar bill to tip her*

"I don't need a girlfriend. I go SOLO, understand?"

The erotic prequel to "Fire In His Urinal"

"Man, the bonus fighter characters in Mortal Kombat are getting ridiculous."

"My calendar is pretty tight, but I think I can squeeze you in on Monday, April 10 through Friday, April 21."

Gourd God: The Latest NJ Transit Survey Brochure

I got on the NJ Transit train the other morning and came across these flyers:

Festive and autumnal, no? Then I saw the arrangement of the pumpkins and gourds and realized it's a pale ghost of our beloved old stock people from the 2013 survey brochure.

Here now is a perfunctory comparison chart between the two:

The ProofrEADJer: Almost Back To School Edition

Stupid Shark Movie Tagline Jamboree!

Here now are several nonexistent taglines for a movie that shouldn't exist in the first place:

But that's not all, folks. Here is a new movie we came across: "Shark Exorcist," presumably from the same filmmakers (who cares)?

"Satan has jaws" is their real movie tagline, but it is such WEAK SAUCE. So here are two bonus taglines for this presumably equally stupid shark disaster mashup movie:

The ProofrEADJer, Spring Thaw Edition

Chaos: 536, Stockboys: 0

And this submitted by Andrew:

UAG