EADJ Etiquette Center Presents An Etiquette Pop Quiz

POP QUIZ: A person in front of you is finishing up at the soda fountain station and is getting a top and straw for their beverage. You need more ice and Coca Cola for your drink. Do you:

a) squeeze by her and get both

b) get the ice but not the Coke, because it's too close to her

c) WAIT YOU FUCKING TURN AND HOLD YOUR GODDAMNED HORSES FOR MAYBE 20 SECONDS. SHIT, ARE YOU DYING OF THIRST, YOU HORRIBLE, IMPATIENT ANIMAL? TAKE A FRIGGIN' CHILL PILL AND oh, she done now.

Answer: c

The ProofrEADJer: Is It Still August? Edition

"Butt red." LOL

It's Casserole Clip-Art Season Again!

Mere days after Halloween, it is time once again to break out the casserole clipart in anticipation of the next holiday.

Casserole clipart is good for Thanksgiving invitations, Thanksgiving memos, Thanksgiving shopping list designs and other Thanksgiving related ephemera.

But not all casserole clipart is the same.

Some casserole clip art is better than other casserole clipart.

Lots of casserole clipart is in color, whereas there are some that are simply in black and white.

Some casserole clipart is so beautiful you could stick your dick in it.

Some casserole clipart is so hideous you could have it tuck its dick behind your balls.

Some casserole clipart is so clean and simple, you could feel ashamed for letting another casserole clipart do something like tuck its dick behind your balls.

Some casserole clipart doesn't show a casserole at all.

Some casserole clipart needs to be forgotten. Like that time that other casserole clipart… never mind.

ENJOY USING AND SHARING YOUR CASSEROLE CLIPART THIS MONTH!

Pathmark VI: Revenge Of The Apathetic Stockboys

Still Yet Another Brief Status Of What Mall Kiosk Attendants Are Doing

The following is an accurate account of what William, attendant at the T-Shirt Paradise stand in the Terre Haute Shopping Center in Terre Haute, Indiana did while working on January 11, 2014:

• invented a delicious new dessert involving frozen yogurt and noodles

• read his DeVry rejection letter

• felt for his left ball to make sure it was there (it was)

• used a pencil eraser to make a quarter shiny

The following is an accurate account of what Donavan, sales rep at the Gold Bunion kiosk at the Gladenville Mall in Pennsylvania did while working on the afternoon of January 12, 2014:

• loosened tie in order to tighten it again

• replayed the entire DVD box set to "Band Of Brothers" in his head by memory

• wondered if his stand's location in front of White|Black was ironic, considering his mixed ethnicity

• tried to blow a snot without using his hands

The following is an accurate account of what Bruce A., attendant at the Bath Fitter stand at the Crabtree Valley Mall in Raleigh, NC did while working on January 13, 2014:

• shifted weight to his left foot

• shifted weight to his right

• did the hokey pokey

• turned himself around

• thought about what it all meant

The following is an accurate account of what Carson and Rita, attendants at the Bedazzle This kiosk in Sun Valley Shopping Center in Ventura, California did while working on January 10, 2014:

(• Nothing. The stand was shut down in 2008.)

The following is an accurate account of what Quentin, attendant at the Smartphone Repair kiosk at the Arundel Mills Shopping Center in Bridgeport, CT did while working on January 16, 2014:

• tried to figure out how to make the bullet symbol on his Blackberry

• sucked air in through the space between his lower teeth, causing an irritating half-whistle sound

• looked at the Captain D's online menu

• rapped the lyrics to Tupac's "I Ain't Mad At Cha"

UAG

Let's Open the EADJ Mail Sack To Get Our Minds Off the Fact That An Unnamed Organization Made Us Take Down a Really Funny Project Entry!

Submitted by Tom Weingard, an almost-winning EADJ sweepstakes entry:

Advertising Tip of the Day

When concepting at a restaurant, make sure you ask if their refills are free. Dammit.