The ProofrEADJer: End of February Edition

Here's the "Sharks of the Corn" Trailer We Never Promised You

They forgot to add a "Shot on iPhone" caption at the end.

A Few Retail Stores And The Likelihood That They'll Sell Unusual Products

Staples

3-ring binder dividers (pink) with pockets: 90% chance

Contraceptive sponges: 3% chance

Old Navy

Flip flops: 95,000% chance

Pants that don't make you look either effeminate or masculine in ways you didn't intend: 18% chance

Bass Pro Shops

Live bait that screams when you put it on a hook: 67% chance

Nail polish remover: 7% chance

Best Buy

TV with no HDMI but with *both* RCA and coaxial cable ins: 71% chance

A faulty dryer that has 8 lbs of smuggled cocaine inside: 45% chance

CVS Pharmacy

Picture frames with already broken glass: 38% chance

A DVD copy of "Untamed Heart" starring Christian Slater: 93% chance

Hot Topic

Panic! At The Disco tank top: 100% chance

Something your dad would wear: 0% chance

Bed Bath & Beyond

"Washtunes: the washcloth that has a pocket for your smartphone:" 88% chance

Fertility idol that works: 14% chance

Ross: Dress For Less

A wedding gown for under $15: 63% chance

A communicable disease from one of their thongs: 77% chance

Let's Compare Yahoo Maps' Route To That of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Barry via text:

"When I saw a bowling alley arcade gift (1,250 points needed) this disturbing, I knew you had to see it.

Andrew's Turn To React To The Bowling Balls In Our Backyard

Here is the previous one with Vince.

EADJ Pun Police

What's all this here then? I'm patrolling the streets for that most heinous, most egregious of misdemeanors, the bloody pun. And let me tell you, guv'nor, this job is not for you sensitive nancies. Wot?


Oh, bugger. That's a terrible one, eh? Dwayne Johnson himself falling victim to an easy play on words, wot? Oy, come back here! Don't you run from me! Stop!


"Peelin' lucky?" Because you bloody peel the game pieces off to play the dodgy McDonald's sweepstakes thingy? Terrible, Mr. Monopoly. I'm going to have to write you a citation for...wait! You can't run from me, you hear? Come back here! *blows whistle*


Not so much a 'groaner' as it is just limp and tired. Not even worth my time, really. Carry on, luv.


Augh! That one really burned me in me front bits! Awful, just awful! Must beat it back with me bobby stick! Hey, come back here! You are running away from me right now!


What a load of codswallop. That's not even how you really pronounce 'phuket,' so you can't really count that one as a pun. Not in the traditional sense.


Ghastly! Two awful bloody puns in the same place! *blows whistle* Come back here! There's no excuse for "Britney Spares!" It doesn't even make sense! Stop! Police!

Finding His Center

You know those "balance trainers" for skaters and snowboarders, which are essentially wooden boards on a spool? Well, Joel got one of those to "strengthen his core" whilst eating dick. His Erotic Yoga classes at Curves were doing a pretty good job of toning his legs and chest, but Joel noticed that he needed more. But with his time-consuming hobby of dick-consuming, it was getting hard (ha) for Joel to really get a wholistic workout. So he found a suitable training board in the latest Lillian Vernon catalog and ordered one. His chimp servant Chad Yarborough is expecting the package later this afternoon.

EADJ will update you soon on Joel's review of the balancing ripoff board.

No Conga Either

(pictured above, J'Net & I and the wedding DJ come to an understanding)

Eat 'em and Leave 'em

(pictured above, Suz turns Matt into a spider roll)

Toss It Like It's Hot

(pictured above, Emily 2 becomes a futo maki while Dean mugs)