More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

"I am your new girl friend? We go to brunch?" (next 1.5 hours spent debating on where to go)

"Good evening, my fellow kink-shamed hentai furries– a reading from the Book of John Waters."

"Dying is another $10/hr."

(translated from the German) "You are a bold boy, Jim Knopf. And that is not just because you realize since this is a children's movie that you are never in any real danger."

"We got women here, guys. There's no need to touch swords!"

"All o' you ladies are fine, fine, fine. It's a shame I gotta cut you to separate the wheat from the chizzle."

Let's Pull Our Collective Heads Out of the EADJ Mail Sack!

This photo was submitted by Andrew Gall via text:

To read more about Myron Noodleman, Prince of Baseball, in this blog, click here.

And this completely unsurprising text message from Mig Ponce:

Laying it on thick

Things I don't expect to hear anytime soon from a cab driver:

"Those bike messengers are a pure delight!"

"You want to pay with a credit card? No problem, boss!"

"Why yes, I will hang up my cell phone so that I can concentrate on driving."

"Rice and Western? I know exactly where that is and will get you there posthaste!"

"You want a receipt? Here, take a whole pad of 'em!"

"You're right. Me blasting NPR doesn't make me appear any smarter. I'll turn it down."

"There are seven of you, and you're all obnoxiously drunk? Pile in, kids!"

"My name is Dean Hacohen."

"You don't have enough money? TUUUUUUUU!"

"You no make fun. My name really TRAN PHAT."


(pictured above, Nancy M watches as four gallons of sour cream are slathered onto her ginormous Morton's tater)