UAG

The ProofrEADJer, Almost Payday Edition

This Week in Hip Hop Awfulness

Here's the latest and greatest in surprising and confusing hip hop mixtape covers:

Arrogant flips the bird to the Earth, grabs his Avatar booty bitch and bags of cash and gets away in a flying saucer. Little does Arrogant know that Na'Vi women don't have genitals and simply connect their ponytail to yours to have sex. Whoopsie!

That's different. A mix tape about your full-time job as a systems analyst for a heating supply company in Lawrenceburg, KY.

I've never been a fan of Gucci Mane, so I damn sure don't want to see his no-talent chump ass spitting rhymes about booty and cars in 3D. 'Wow, I can almost reach out and slap that ice cream cone tattoo off his face!'

Borrowed interest that's 30 years old is still borrowed interest.

Yes, Wiz Khalifa, some of us get the reference. No, it doesn't make any sense.

Okay, Jarren Benton. I am puzzled but impressed.

Bishop Lamont sheds his pope hat for a more sensible Common cap and pretends to be waiting to fly somewhere as he masters Plants Vs. Zombies in a Gaussian blur haze.

Declaring yourself a badass King of New York is one thing. Accidentally associating yourself with a Ugandan guerrilla who abducts children to force them to become sex workers is another.

"Hi there. I'm Wiz Khalifa. You're probably wondering why I'm sitting at the Sears Portrait Studio wearing some lady's real estate blazer. Well, I'm just here to tell you that I remember you. Thanks for listening."

An Imagined Conversation

"Hey Bow Wow."
"Hey T-Pain. What's going on?"
"Not much. Listen, you know how both of us are starring in this upcoming movie 'Lottery Ticket?'"
"We are?"
"I know. I've never heard of it, either. But take a look at the movie poster. Take a good look at the credits at the top."
"Okay."
"You notice anything about it?"
"No. Just that I'm first. Ha ha!"
"Yeah, good for you and all that. But listen, Lil' Bow Wow.."
"HEY. It's JUST Bow Wow now."
"Sorry. Bow Wow, look how everyone has their first name, then their last name gets blown up in bigger letters."
"Yeah? So?"
"Well, look at my name. Mine's ALL big. Ice CUBE. Bow WOW. Mike EPPS. And mine's just T-PAIN, not T-PAIN."
"Wait. How were those two different?"
"The first time I said 'T,' it was in lower case. The second time I said it in bold upper case."
"No, you didn't. You said T-PAIN the same way twice."
"Well, shit. Forget how I said it; it would look different on the poster."
"Oh. Okay."
"My point is, my name's been reduced to a single word, like Cher, Madonna, or Prince."
"That doesn't sound like a bad thing, man. That makes you an icon. Hey, wait; maybe what you could do is put your rap name in quotes, like Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson or Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges when you're acting."
"My real name's Faheem Rasheed Najm."
"T-Pain it is, then."

NOOOOOOOOOO!

Jersey-Style!

Vince reacts to the bowling balls in our back yard.

Celebrity Spotting

Spotted at JFK Airport: Papa Smurf!






Or since it was a flight to Miami, Papi Smurf?