The ProofrEADJer: Almost August And Everything After Edition

This Is An Entry Involving Playbills

If you're like me and frequent the theatre, you often come home with a Playbill in your pocket- a lovely souvenir program of the delightful live presentation that you just enjoyed that evening.


If you open any Playbill, you'll likely see an ad for the Ultimate Playbill Binder. That way you can save all your Playbills in a handsome leather album that would sit on your bookshelf for your maid to dust every week.


Or, if you'd like, you can bring out the binder when company is around to brag to them that you had seen both "Mamma Mia" and "Rock Of Ages" in the same month. Then, when your friend is put off by how much you brag about your stupid Playbills and storms out, the irony won't hit you that your bookshelf doesn't have any photo albums of friends and instead has rows and rows of useless Playbill albums.

***UNFORTUNATE UPDATE***

Well, apparently we already did this entry. Sorry folks!

We Meet Again, JOTB

So this morning I was downloading soundtracks from one of my favorite illegal websites, when I happened upon a title that still makes me cringe:



Both of you who follow EADJ on a regular basis might remember a movie with this title was reviewed in a 2009 Crappinema and has so far been considered the very worst movie of all the shitty movies we've reviewed.

But what's different here on this soundtrack is that it's an animated children's movie. And it's in 3-D!



The YouTube page for the trailer bills "Jock Of The Bushveld" as "South Africa's first 3-D Movie!" Wow! That's like Iceland's first bubble tea shop! Or Jamaica's first mortgage finance consulting firm! Where do I queue up?

Regardless of the fact that it's animated or has fancy depth, I'm going to assume this will be as excruciatingly boring as the live action movie I was subject to in 2009. A prospector befriends a dog. The dog dies. 120 min.

There is no way you can make that story last two hours and be enjoyable. And that includes throwing footage of Playboy Playmate Sara Jean Underwood eating penis-shaped popsicles in a cowgirl/cheerleader outfit made of cellophane. Besides, how appropriate for children would that be, really?

Yeeks.

So recently on Facebook, I friended a former classmate from high school, and 99.99% of her profile photos are this:


And not just pictures of Betty Boop, but very sexualized pictures of Betty Boop.


If you're wondering if this person really resembles a super-leggy Playboy model with a head as large as a beer cooler, you're wrong. She's fat.

How To Test the Limits of Your Friendships

Pictured below, in the back of any copy of Playbill, an ad for a binder that holds dozens of your old Playbills so you can brag to your friends about how many Broadway shows you've seen:



Here is an imagined reaction of any friend who is given this binder to look through:

"Oh. Neat. 'Hairspray.' You've seen 'Hairspray?' Cool. Do what? It's not on Broadway anymore? That's a shame. Oh, it's only playing in London now? Wow... Oh, so here's a Playbill for 'Jersey Boys.' Yeah, wow. They do a bunch of Frankie Valli songs? That's really something. 'Mamma Mia,' yeah. I've heard about that, and I heard the movie... oh? The show is way better than the movie? Oh, okay. I gotta check that out. Excuse me for one second."

(cocks shotgun, points it at head, pulls the trigger with big toe)

What Dave Levy Lev'd Behind, Part 6

With a special Christmas surprise!