Spotted at Subway

An in-store poster selling promotional cups for the live action version of "Moana": 

But notice: for Maui, they have a CG bird instead of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. WTH?

Did The Rock not agree to having his likeness on a Subway cup because it conflicted with his endorsement deals with every other food, beverage, snack, wireless and packaged goods brand out there?

Who knows. I ordered a water, btw

Gag

Pictured above, EASILY the most disgusting mobile game ad I've ever had the misfortune to see. Thanks Project Makeover! 🖕

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Let's Put Grease in The Greaseless EADJ Mail Sack And Sue The Manufacturer When We Get Our Hands Burned!

Submitted by Andrew, via SMS:

"I don't understand why this exists"

The Avengers: Age of Forced Corporate Tie-Ins

To coincide with the recent release of Marvel's "Avengers: Age of Ultron," Subway announced a "Simple $6 Menu," assigning a different sandwich to each of Earth's Mightiest Heroes (no hero/hero pun there? Shame). Here is the menu:

HEY! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY! I'M TAKING A PICTURE HERE! Stupid sandwich artist. Here is the menu:

And here are the tenuous connections that we can draw from superhero to sandwich:

Excels- (burp) -ior!

An Interesting Bloke I Spotted On the Subway

I noticed on the subway that this dude was intently writing something in his journal.

Upon closer inspection, it appears he was drawing either a complex doodle or something beyond normal human comprehension.

So either this guy is completely off his nut or has just solved our dependence on foreign oil forever. Maybe both.

The EADJ Winter Fashion Round-Up

Not sure if that's a really long sweater or a man-dress with jeans underneath. The craftsmanship is amazing.

Nothing like some old school North Face down-jacket-action to mess up a Uniqlo hipster-down-jacket vibe.

Fur goes with almost everything. Except jeans that are patterned like pizza barf.

CHECKS! STRIPES! PLAID! LEOPARD! FISHNET!

MY EYES! MY EYES! SO MANY PATTERNS!

Gordy got dressed in all professional wear except for the sweatpants. 75% is still passing, you know. 

So You Want To Start Your Own Subway Franchise

Thank you for expressing interest in starting your own Subway franchise. Before we approve you, we have to ask the following questions:

• Do you know how to cook?
• No? That's okay. Do you know how to operate basic machinery?
• No? That's fine. Do you know how to wash your hands?
• No? Not mandatory. Do you know about the basic refrigeration of meat?
• No? That's cool. Do you know how to make a basic sandwich?
• No? Fine, we'll teach you. Do you have $20 to start a business?
• Yes? NOW we're getting somewhere! Welcome to the Subway family!

New York. The Most Exciting City In The World

Spotted on the 7 train, some guy is bringing the cups, and he TOTALLY has it covered, y'all.

Previous entries of this segment can be seen here, here and here.

New York City. The Most Exciting City In The World.

Spotted on the Queens-bound 7 train, a woman thumbs through a kitchen cabinet brochure.

See the other two "New York Exciting" entries here and here.

CSI: EADJ: Third Watch

The crack team of forensic scientists at the neon-bright CSI lab are at it again. Solving baffling crimes using the latest technology and their imaginations, these specialized experts will tackle the cases that the regular cops won't. Or can't. Or shan't. Or Kant.


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CASE 489572
Location: outside a liquor store in Hoboken, NJ

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CASE 489573
Location: Penn Station subway tracks, NYC

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CASE 489574
Location: Up the road from a supermarket in South Orange, NJ

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CASE 489575
Location: Various train tracks in NY and NJ

A Subway Ad I Spotted

The rag Mailonline.com has this ad out in billboard form:

Let's take a quick look at what both of these Kims have in common:

• Both have a thing for NBA players

• Unchecked narcissism made worse by media attention

• Short and fat

• Both are where they are solely because of their Dad

• Neither are worth a shit

• Mistake all the attention they get for adoration, when in fact it's eye-rolling contempt

• have an unwatchable sex tape where Ray Jay pees on them and fucks them doggy-style

EADJ's Mission To Spot All Of The Avengers On The Subway, Special Collector's Issue

You might want to seal this one in a polypropylene bag with a cardboard backing board, because this is a special COMPLETE AVENGERS issue! The Agents of E.A.D.J. have double-confirmed the sighting of the last remaining unseen member of Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and not only that, but their courageous LEADER! 

CAPTAIN AMERICA

Yes, the fearless super soldier (born Steve Rogers) was spotted on a train in Penn Station earlier this week, and I gotta tell you, he doesn't look a day over 91.

You may not recognize "Cap" at first, but that unmistakable stars and stripes on his lap is the dead giveaway that it is indeed "The Star-Spangled Avenger." And look at that color scheme: RED smartphone, WHITE stripes on the bag, and BLUE jeans? Come on, that's him!

What's surprising is that he was so unassuming. I mean, after seeing him lay waste to hundreds of Chitauri invaders in "The Avengers," it's hard to believe he could just sit there calmly and play Candy Crush Saga. But that's the kind of cool-headed leader we're dealing with!

Bonus: Even though he was spotted before,  here is a new shot we acquired of Thor on the subway:

At last, we have seen all six Avengers on the New York subway system!

The only ones left to spot now are Agent Coulson and Nick Fury. But I need to remind myself that if I do encounter a black guy with an eyepatch, he might actually kill me if I try to take his photo for this blog.

Stay tuned, true believers! Excelsior!

New York, The Most Exciting City In The World

Spotted on the 7 Shuttle from Times Square to Penn Station, a man steadies his duvet.

See here for a previous installment of this segment.

UAG, or "Sometimes, You Just Don't Have Time For A Quality Blog Entry"

Announcing: EADJ's Mission To Spot All Of The Avengers On The Subway

Iron Man. Thor. Black Widow. Captain America. The Hulk. And Hawkeye.
You'd think none of them would take the subway. Especially after having wrecked the shit out of Manhattan in that last movie.

But that hasn't stopped us from keeping an eye out for them on the New York Subway system, and recently we've been lucky enough to have already spotted a couple of "Earth's Mightiest Heroes."


IRON MAN

 

His name is synonymous with mechanical genius. If anyone could invent a power source to both fuel a battle exo-suit and a special electromagnet to keep shrapnel out of one's heart, it's Tony Stark.

 

Here Tony takes the 7 shuttle from the Stark Tower to Times Square to possibly have cocktails with some sexy supermodels before coming home to Pepper. You'll notice part of the Mark 42 armor on his right knee. He was apparently waiting for the other pieces to fly to him. Note: depression is often a side effect of extreme alcoholism.

HAWKEYE

Hawkeye is considered one of the more talented archers in the Avengers, if not the best. And although he lacks superpowers, he is at the very peak of human conditioning. Hawkeye (real name Clint Barton) is an exceptional fencer, acrobat and a grandmaster marksman, having been trained from childhood in the circus and by the criminals Trick Shot and Swordsman.

 

Here Clint is catching up on some emails. Note the Apple computer, his sly nod to William Tell.

 

So that's two down, four more to go. We feel like Nick Fury rounding 'em all up!

Stay tuned, true believers, as we continue to search for all The Avengers on the New York transit line!